Sex Stories We Love: Rape Justice Falls Flat, Blow Out the Candle, & Gettin’ It Good in Bed

In this week’s edition of Sex Stories We Love, we thank a friend of the sex community for sharing, stand open-mouthed and in shock at a terrible verdict, share what is on our personal sex menu and much more. You know, just your average week in the world of sex.

Rape Justice Falls Flat

No, no, no, no, no. It is impossible to believe that anyone could even come up with such a preposterous defense to a rape allegation - let alone a successful defense. Millionaire developer Ehsan Abdulaziz was recently cleared of rape charges because some fools believed his inane story of falling on top of and penetrating an 18 year old who has staying at his flat after a night of drinking. She says she woke up on his couch to find him trying to penetrate her. He says he went to check on her, she pulled him toward him, his penis might have been poking out of his underoos, she forced his hand - which might have had semen on it from a previous sexual encounter - to her vulva, and then he fell kinda sorta fell into her. Can you even follow the logic of that sentence, never mind following that logic in a court of law? This is such a sad indictment of failure to believe a victim, even in the face of the most outrageous and awful defense presented. What a shame.

Blow ... Out the Candle

Sometimes people forget the influence porn has on the zeitgeist. A recent landmark ruling in copyright law saw the release of the most popular song into the public domain. Guess where it has landed? And fantastic feminist porn producer Ms. Naughty has already seized this opportunity to incorporate Happy Birthday to You into a porn scene for the first time! Coinciding with the third anniversary of her site Bright Desire, Ms. Naughty incorporated the song into a scene featuring special porn presents Mickey Mod, Nichole Shae, and Livia Vye. Those candle flames burn sexy white hot in this one!

Gettin' It Good in Bed

The wet dream has long been a staple of teen comedies about puberty and coming of age - young dudes waking up to find they’ve had an orgasm in their sleep and now must deal with a sticky mess without anybody finding out. However, according to a piece in Vice this week, sleep orgasms are a very real thing for some women too ...even if they have difficulty coming in their waking hours. Because many factors go into a woman’s ability to reach orgasm, it is difficult to pinpoint any specific reasons why some women can sleep orgasm, but I appreciate how author Stevie Martin opens up about her own experiences and shares some advice for others who want to try getting off while nodding off. Because hey, pleasure is pleasure!

Dine in or Take Out?

This is one of the best and most radical ideas I’ve heard in a long time and for anyone who has endured less-than-stellar get-to-know-you intimate introductions, sex menus could revolutionize dating and fornicating. The idea is to write down the sex you like, the sex that you’re curious about, and those acts that are off-limits. Then, upon meeting a potential play friend, sharing that menu with them so they can get a true sense of your sexual interests. It is such a great idea on both a social and personal level. As you create your menu, you can reconnect with all of the things that turn you on as well as come to an understanding about what does not. The person you share it with can assess if the two of you have compatible sexual appetites. The best situation would be both of you perusing each other’s menu at the same time, looking for carnal commonalities. I’d love to see this gain some traction!

"Talk to Me, Like Lover's Do..."

First off, let’s congratulate the couples who are the fodder for this list of top reasons people go to counselors for help in their sexual relationship. Despite the growing acceptance of therapy, it can be difficult for some people to reach out to someone outside their coupledom for advice in tricky times. Yet,can we see a clear issue coming through these top issues? Of course, it is communication. When moving your desire into a coupled situation, the first while can seem so easy and breezy and hot and sexy. However, if you and your partner do not maintain open, honest, and fair communication, things like preferences, fetishes, availability, and more can fall by the wayside. You can go from hot and breezy to cold and dull. Also, be sure to remember that communication is not just about what you present to your partner; openly, honestly, and fairly listening to your partner’s thoughts in return is also key.

Not Goodbye, but Farewell

Thank you, Erica Jagger!

A Sexy Woman of a Certain Age is retiring her blog after an excellent, but all too brief, run of 19 months. In a time when establishing a sex blog’s identity and readership in a vast sea of excellent Internet writing can take at least 19 months, Erica set her space apart early on and with great style. Bringing her voice and experiences in “erotic explorations post-50, post-divorce” singlehood, Erica was key in the now ongoing and thoroughly important conversations relating to sex in our later years. Between sharing of herself, writing on the issues others deal with, and including sensual photography, Erica established a great sex blog, and a great place to learn new things. Now she’s decided to move on. I hope you’ll join me in smiling and thanking her for what she has shared with us.