I don't know about you, but the end of the year ranks up there as the "most stressful time of the year" for me. While I fall in love with the giving spirit, beautifully-decorated homes, and plethora of festive events, the never-ending to-do list keeps me firmly grounded in "stressed" territory. With gifts to buy, gifts to wrap, finances to manage, multiple holiday parties to attend (better have nice outfits and host gifts too!) and family reunions to plan, the holiday season starts to feel like a powder keg of stress - and I start to act like one too. (Oh, and don't forget New Year's Eve right afterwards!)
Survival of the Sexiest: Play the Holiday Stress Away
What if there was a way around all of this? What if you could simply "play" away all of your holiday stress? Well, there isn't a way to avoid it completely, sorry. But we can take steps to manage our stress during this peak stress point of the year.
All of this, of course, it's much, much easier said than done. After all, I'm the person providing these tips - who clearly is dealing with her own level of holiday stress pretty constantly. (Turns out, knowing the "answers" and actually doing the "answers" are two very different things.)
But hey - let me tell you some of the fun ways I have found stress relief in sexual "play" over the holidays - because those moments - much more than the late nights wrapping gifts - are the ones I remember year after year.
Dedicate "Off Days"
I don't know about you, but once I get into "planning" mode, good luck trying to turn me on - or get me to relax. The biggest solution I've found for this is to intentionally plan days where I will refuse to get into a planning mindset. These days are purely for fun, relaxation, living in the moment, and letting my mind come down from all of the planning.
Yes, it takes a bit of pre-planning in order to ensure I don't have to deal with logistics on that day, but it isn't impossible to pull off! And, as those hours of relaxation accumulate, I feel my sex drive coming back too - which is great for reconnecting with a partner.
For me, it's as simple as saying "Let's talk about that tomorrow" or "Remind me tomorrow" about questions that pop up, but you might find your own way to protect your days off.
Use Your Sex Drive
The sex drive is one of those "lose it or lose it!" things. If you find yourself avoiding sex due to stress over the holidays, your sex drive can take a hit. It becomes a self-fulfilling cycle; you don't feel like having sex, so you don't have sex, which makes you less likely to feel like having sex... - you get the idea.
And it isn't exclusive to partnered sex. Solo love can do the trick very nicely. Plus, a lot of people use masturbation for stress relief. You can too! Even if you feel more stressed than aroused, consider popping on some of your favorite erotic material - and masturbating. Grab a sex toy if that helps you accomplish your goal. As you get absorbed in your task, you'll forget the holiday stress - and you'll likely feel better afterwards, too.
Batch Up Your Logistics
Holidays to plan? Family to see? Gifts to purchase? Carts full of "holiday" food to purchase and bake? DIY kits to pick up in order to "make" those family memories we all crave? Some faux elf to plan an entire adventure for? Instead of letting these things take up multiple days of your life, dedicate a focused time to deal with them. Don't let your Elf on the Shelf require a half-hour of creativity and forethought every day. Instead, plan out your 25 days of your Elf at the beginning of the season and just follow the instructions every day.
This is pretty common marketing and productivity advice, but sometimes we forget to use it on the personal aspects of our lives. Turns out, bulk-prepping all of our home and family to-do lists can help ensure it doesn't constantly bleed into your enjoyment of these activities. So, when your family is excited over the Elf's magical new placement, you can be fully present in their enjoyment instead of thinking about where to put the Elf tomorrow.
The same can be said about other aspects of your holiday. Set aside hours to make a list of the gifts you want to purchase for each person you're purchasing for. Ensure you've made up a full holiday food grocery list, so that isn't swarming in your head all the time. Think of an additional food you need? Add it to your written list and then clear the chalkboard in your head.
And those family memories? Think about (and prep) those kits at the beginning of the month - so when the time comes, you can relax into the activity with your family - and be present during the down time you planned for everyone else!
Steal a Moment
Quickies might be the name of the game during the busy holiday season - but instead of seeing that as a downside, consider seeing it as a personal challenge. What's the quickest way you can fit in some pleasure? When can you sneak away for a fast one - and then reappear 20 minutes later without anyone else being any the wiser? Powerful vibrators, cock rings, and air suction toys will help ensure this is pleasurable for both partners - especially with the shortened time frame.
(Don't think that quickies must include intercourse, either! Getting a body ramped up enough to enjoy intercourse can take time - which you may not have. Instead, experiment with oral and finger pleasure - and sex toys! There's always time for intercourse when you have a bit more time!)
Create Romantic Traditions
With all of the holiday to-do lists flying around, it can be easy to forget to prioritize a bit of time for the two of you - but the holiday season can really feel pretty romantic if you let it. If you can, I recommend attending an event - just the two of you - for a fun, date-night feel.
If you don't have the time for that, you can always make a date night at home too. One of my fun (and cheesy, okay!) holiday traditions is that my partner and I watch a holiday romcom movie - then try a new couple's board game each year. Complete with a few drinks, it's a great way to snuggle up, wind down from the day, and then reconnect with one another with a game that asks us to do things a bit outside of our comfort zones.
If you don't have a partner, you still should create your own romantic traditions - only woo yourself with them! You're your own partner, after all! Set up your own holiday pampering traditions - and stick to them. Maybe it's a luxurious bath in the dark with holiday music going - and a perfectly-smelling bath bomb. Maybe it's treating yourself to a day out with your favorite hobby - like playing the local 18-hole. Maybe it's just a day of vegging out on your favorite holiday games while you eat your favorite holiday snacks. Whatever it is, make it special and make it something you can repeat, year after year, to prioritize yourself during the stressful holiday season.
Better Yet, Create a Sex Position Tradition
You might not have the time to commit to a full month of new sex positions every day, but you might have the bandwidth to agree to try a new sex position every holiday season. Not only does this give you both something to look forward to, but you can start skimming sex position databases and figure out options towards the end of the year - and get excited to "fulfill" your tradition once December hits.
Expect Less Sexual Energy - and That's Okay
You can only be disappointed by what's happening if you had expectations that something else was going to happen. So, instead of imagining a holiday season filled with holiday sex, start fantasizing about a holiday season that's full of other ways to connect with the people you love.
The truth is: holiday stress is likely going to impact your sex life - even if you try to avoid it. You might be so tired after a long day of seeing friends that you haven't seen in years that you just want to sleep. You might be a bit too drunk after a friend's holiday party - and uninterested in having sex - and that's okay too.
Not having as much sex during the holidays isn't a problem unless you think it's a problem. Instead, focus on the other types of non-genital connections you're making: like learning a bit more about your partner, feeling like you're creating new memories that will last for years, seeing people you haven't seen all year, and other amazing benefits.
Because, let's be fair: absolutely mind-blowing sex is something that will stay in your memory banks for years - but most sex doesn't reach that level. Now, the holiday traditions and time you get to spend with family? Those are much more likely to become treasured memories for years to come. So, expect a bit less sexual energy and more of that "cozy holiday energy" - and recommit to exploring your sex drive after the holidays.
After all, it isn't going anywhere.
Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.