If you have a female body (or have ever been in bed with one), odds are you’ve heard of a couple of spots to touch to make things feel good. So, there’s the clitoris. Of course. Then there’s the G-spot. Obviously. Oh, and the nipples, those are important. Hey! Let’s not forget the perineal sponge.
Wait ... who with the what now?
OK, so maybe you haven’t heard of that one. The perineal sponge (or PS-sponge) does take a backseat when it comes to the orgasm conversation. Why? I think that a lot of people just don’t know it’s there. We seem to mostly know what the area between a woman’s vagina and anus ain’t and not a whole lot about what it is. Because this little spot can extend orgasm, make it more intense and even create one all on its own.
Now that I have your attention, let's get to know the PS-spot.
The perineal sponge, known as the PS-spot to some, is a spongy cushion of erectile tissue between the vagina and rectum. The image below portrays the female genital area as having something of a figure-eight shape to it. That being the case, the perineal sponge is right at the intersection of the eight. It is housed just beneath the skin spanning the distance between the vaginal opening and the anus - the perineum. Because the perineal sponge is made of erectile tissue, it becomes engorged when you are aroused, just like the clitoris or the penis.
My favorite description of the PS-spot comes from sexuality educator Ashley Manta. She says, "If you take your tongue and feel the skin on the roof of your mouth, right behind your (front) teeth, that's what the perineal sponge feels like. It's a little firm, with ridges." Ashley also predicts that everyone who reads that description will involuntarily feel the roof of their mouth with their tongue.
Anyway, the perineal sponge encompasses a large number of nerve endings. So, for some women, stimulating of it can mean longer, more intense orgasms, or making it to orgasm in less time. This little spot can even trigger orgasm all on its own. In addition to all this orgasm talk, stimulating the PS-spot just feels really good and can be a great addition to whatever other stimulation you already know you enjoy. If clitoral stimulation is feeling good, pop over to the PS-spot and see if that adds anything!
Because of its convenient placement, the perineal sponge can be stimulated in a number of ways and with a variety of toys. It can be accessed via the lower back wall of the vagina or the front of wall of the rectum; fingers or curved toys are great for applying pressure from either of these angles (just remember, toys used anally should always have flared bases).
Read: The 5 Rules of Anal Play for Women
If you want to try to love on your perineal sponge during intercourse - either with a penis or a harnessed dildo - think of positioning yourself in ways that direct your phallic implement of choice toward the back wall of the vagina. A woman-on-top position with torsos together is good for this, as is seated and facing each other (great time for couch sex!), or even missionary. Basically, you're looking at positions that aim the opposite way as you'd want to go for your G-spot, because the PS-spot is on the other side. (Need inspiration? Check out our Sex Position Playlist.)
The perineal sponge may respond to pressure on the perineum from outside of the body too. Try a vibrator that you would normally use clitorally and press it against the span of skin between the vagina and anus.
The PS-spot can produce fireworks. It can. But that doesn't mean it'll happen to you. Everything feels different for everyone. If you try perineal sponge stimulation and it doesn’t pop your cork, don’t fret; it doesn’t mean yours is broken. It just means that this isn’t your cup of tea, and that’s OK. Learning about these spots and exploring them is like a treasure hunt; sometimes you find great stuff and sometimes you just find, well, stuff. Either way it’s an adventure. And if the PS-spot doesn't deliver, just keep on hunting. It won't be long until you find something that does. (For more female-friendly sex tips, check out The No.1 Secret to the Female Orgasm.)
JoEllen is a writer, speaker, researcher and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken on her award-winning site The Redhead Bedhead.
JoEllen is currently writing her first book: “The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression & The Conversation We Aren’t Having”
