Games People Play: How Sexy Games Shape Our Sexuality

Sexy games - we've all played them. In a friend's room, at a party, in a closet, or behind the school gym, game play is a way for the inexperienced or shy to get past the awkwardness of things like kissing, touching, or even showing an interest in the person you're sweet on. But sexy games don't always stop once we graduate to adulthood. In many cases, the purpose of sexy game play grows and matures with the age of the player. Let's take a look at the sexy games people play and how they changed with us. (Check out our writer's review of an adult game called Nooki.)

Doctor

Playing "doctor" may not even be a game in a technical sense. It's more of a euphemism for the exploration of a friend's body at an age (usually about six to eight years old) when the larger implications of this are not understood. A toy doctor kit may facilitate this. It isn't necessary, but it's certainly helpful to the narrative. Normally you wouldn't want your play-date friend to take her shirt off ... but how else are you going to listen to her heartbeat? Kids grow out of "doctor" pretty early though. Once you're no longer curious about what exactly is in your friend's underwear, the time for "doctor" has passed.

Truth or Dare

This is definitely one of those games that grows with the player. Kids start playing this around the time they start having crushes they want to keep secret. Everyone sits in a circle, with one person going first to ask "truth or dare" to another player. I always picked truth, which meant I'd have to answer a private or embarrassing question. Picking dare might have meant I got dared to kiss someone - with all the pre-teen terror that entails. The older you got, the more you hoped that you'd be dared to kiss someone - or that they'd get dared to kiss you. Once it becomes clear that kissing has become the main objective of this game, most kids move on ...

Spin the Bottle

This is a party favorite, and for good reason. I was in junior high for my first game. At the time, if you spun the bottle and it landed on someone of your gender, you had to spin again. These days, not so much. That groundbreaking "Sex and the City" episode where Carrie kisses Alanis Morissette changed that forever. Spin. Kiss. Repeat. Spin the Bottle was played by older kids, the sort who are pretty serious about finding someone to kiss. Players hoped they'd get to kiss the person they wanted, while hoping even more that the person they want to kiss won't reject them. There is nothing more humiliating than having someone actually quit the game and storm off rather than kiss you. Um ... that's what I've heard anyway.

Suck and Blow

Relax, parents, this kissing game is not nearly as filthy as it sounds. For this game, you need two teams of friends in a circle or standing in a line, and a deck of ordinary playing cards. The object of the game is to hold a playing card to your lips by sucking, then apply said card to the lips of the next player by blowing. Then turn back to the first player and suck another card to your face. Eventually, the card will drop and random people will end up kissing. The game ends when you've passed all your cards, or when you've collapsed into laughter from all that "accidental" kissing. There's also a cleaner version of this game that involves passing oranges by holding them under your chin.

Seven Minutes in Heaven

This is the point at which sex games come to have more direct intentions. The pretense of Seven Minutes in Heaven is that you have to go into a small dark room - usually a closet - with someone else. Whether you want to or not. That's the game. And you don't even get to pick who you're in there with. Your closet companion is the result of an intricate teenaged web of romance, mockery and fanciful choosing. The next thing you know, you feel expected to make out, or talk, or ... maybe you're not sure exactly what's expected of you. It may end up being the longest seven minutes of your life thus far - and it will almost certainly end with your friends opening the door early and laughing at whatever you ended up doing in there. Hilarious!

Key Party

Key Party is where games go from kids' stuff to adults only. Sexy games designed for adults have a different function than those for kids. Hopefully, we're no longer embarrassed of our bodies, our sexual cravings, or our occasional desire to try something new. Key Parties are a swinger activity where everyone puts their keys into a bowl. Guests choose keys from the bowl, and the owner of those keys becomes their sex partner for the night. It's often considered a fun way to sleep with another person without telling your circle of friends which of them you've always wanted to get busy with. Even though the players are adults, the same basic dynamics as Spin the Bottle usually apply. (Learn more about the swing lifestyle in How I Became a Swinger.)

Bondage

Bondage is not a game per se. For some people, bondage is a full-on lifestyle with rules and customs I could never smush into one paragraph. But there are far more people for whom bondage is something to dabble in. Fuzzy handcuffs, ineffectual whips, blindfolds, and various cuffs and clamps are used in casual game-play by many people, and provide a little something to spice up a sex life before it becomes repetitive. Even if you're playing with toys though, read up on them and always play safe! (Read more in Why Bondage Can Be So Much Fun.)

Strip ____________

Strip poker is the classic "strip" game where players lose items of clothing instead of poker chips or cash. But any game can be a strip game if you want it to. One of the "Friday the 13th" movies includes a scene of strip Monopoly. Other good choices for strip games include the card game Uno, and board games like "Sorry!," "Twister" (this one can get crazy fast!), and for the nerds among you, "Trivial Pursuit."

Dress Up

Kids play dress up so they can put on fancy clothes and pretend to be someone else. Not surprisingly, adults do it for pretty much the same reason. Pretending during sex can be a fun and exciting way to keep things interesting. Whether it entails a naughty nurse, good-cop-bad-cop, or the ever-popular French maid, costume play can be a great time for kids of any age.

Dice

One of the most popular items for sex-based gaming for couples is sexy dice. The first dice games were a pair of dice - one containing commands and the other containing body parts. As spicy as that sounds, the first time you roll "nuzzle" and "butt" there's bound to be some laughter. And that's OK. These days, there are plenty of different sexy dice games to choose from, ranging from mild commands like kissing or nuzzling, to those which suggest more overt sexual acts like oral. Oh my!

Maybe you're not interested in a key party, or in getting a bunch of friends together for a rousing game of Spin the Bottle, but that's no reason to forgo games altogether. Your significant other might love the idea - and you might be surprised at how fun and sexy it can be to get silly and try something new or, better yet, something you haven't played in years. Get out there and and take a dare!