Sex Blogger of the Month: Red Hot Suz

We've heard January referred to as the Monday of months. In other words, it can be a bit of a slog. You know what isn't a slog, though? Reading a sizzling hot, yet insightful, sex blog. This month, we've got one for you: Red Hot Suz. Her blog provides an awesome mix of sex tips, sex toy reviews and body-positive posts. She also ranked in the top 10 in last year's Sex Blogging Superheroes contest. Go check her out! And check out her answers to our questions about her blog below.

Kinkly: Give us three words that describe your blog.

Suz: Confident. No-nonsense. Empowering.

Kinkly: What inspired you to start the blog?

Suz: I saw the community there was online surrounding sex toy reviewing and sex blogging, and I wanted to become a part of the community. I stumbled upon Kate Sloan's blog and was like "I can do this?!? I can do this." I didn't really know sex blogging was an option until I found the pocket of sex educators on Twitter. I quickly realized it was a perfect intersection of my interests: sex and communications skills.

Kinly: What’s behind the name?

Suz: I have red hair, I'm hot and my name is Suz. LOL.

Kinkly: Who’s your target reader?

Suz: I've heard other writers say "write for who you were five years ago" and that's something I definitely try to channel when writing my advice posts; I want to light the way for any baby sluts or beginners to start having the best sex and dating lives they deserve. I try to write for those of us who are fed up with current dating/internet culture; a lot of my posts are based on my own frustrations. My target reader is someone who sees a bit of themselves in me and my experiences.

Kinkly: What’s unique about your blog?

Suz: I've recently been putting a focus on centering my posts (including my reviews) on my own lived experiences, but I think this is something that a lot of other bloggers have started doing. I think my own persona and online presence is unique in itself, and I think that flows into my posts and content. I'm a fat, femme, queer, slut, model, and activist and I think my intersections in life, along with my blunt and confident personality, create a distinctive voice.

Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering most often and why?

Suz: Personal essays exploring the intersections of dating/casual sex and social issues. My experiences in dating have aggravated me to the point where I *need* to rant about it in a post to highlight bad, unhealthy and non-consensual practices. I've written posts on how my politics are cockblocking me, consent and DMing, and how to know if your potential is good in bed before you fuck them. Not enough people are calling out others (specifically cis men) to do better in current dating culture, so I'm here to do that.

Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it drew so many readers?

Suz: My recent post, Fat & Fucking: Dating Desirability as a Plus Size Woman, was by far my most popular post. I think it was shared so much because I expressed rarely-shared internalized feelings about the issues that are present in dating as a plus-size person. My experiences were all too familiar for readers and the piece resonated with them. I love that my blog can create a sense of solidarity among people who are marginalized in the same ways I am.

Kinkly: What’s the best thing about writing a sex blog?

Suz: The community. I've meet some of my closest friends through sex blogging, and I've never felt more supported in my work as a sex blogger and in my personal life. In addition to fellow bloggers, the (majority) of the companies that I work with are inclusive, progressive ones that are run by fantastic people, and are actively looking to change the sex industry at large. I'm happy my "coworkers" are people that I am inspired by.

Another aspect of sex blogging that I'm incredibly blessed to experience is helping others normalize conversations about sex. I love seeing how people can open up to me when they realize I'm a sex blogger. It's like my position and my openness gives others permission to talk more about sex with their own friends and communities.

Kinkly: What’s the worst thing about it?

Suz: Men objectifying me for my job haha.

Actually, as bad as that is, I can handle it. The real worst thing about writing a sex blog is encountering all the hypocritical and backwards thinking people and companies within the industry. It's frustrating that so many people pat themselves on the back for being good allies, when in reality their decisions and actions aren't progressive, but hindering to the development of becoming a more ethical industry. There are too many companies and influencers that still support abusers, toxic materials, racism, transphobia, fat-shaming, and even slut-shaming. Our industry is lacking in accountability. We really should all be working together to fight for sexual freedom, but with the amount of hypocrisy, we're going to be getting there very slowly.

Kinkly: OK, now for the good stuff: Give us your best tip for great sex.

Suz: Enthusiastic consent, communication, and offered reciprocation.