Sex is a beautiful thing. As a queer vulva-haver, I’m going to sing the praises of vulva-on-vulva sex all the damn day long. Sadly, most people think of sex strictly as penetrative intercourse. And though I do love strap-on or penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex, it’s not the be-all-and-end-all in my sexual repertoire. PSA: It is possible to have satisfying sex that doesn’t involve a phallus.
Satisfying sex without a phallus? Yes, please!
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If you’re a woman who likes to have sex with other women, here are six vulva-on-vulva sex positions of varying difficulties that you need to try. (Note: While I refer to “women,” it's crucial to remember that some women have penises and some vulva-havers are men.) No matter what you're into, if it's your first time with a woman or vagina-having partner, you may want to read this first. And, as always, if you're trying anything new and you're not entirely sure if your partner's into it, ask first. "I'm a very visual person, and I really like hand sex,” says Andre Shakti, sex worker, educator and weekly sex columnist for Slixa’s Ask Andre column. “One of my favorite positions that an ex and I used to do all the time involved me lying flat on my back, holding a vibrator on my clit. (We recommend something lightweight, yet powerful, like the Mystic Wand.) My girlfriend would then straddle my chest facing away from me so that her vulva was about six inches away from my face. She'd rest her chest on the lower half of my body and then would finger or fist me. Seeing how wet she got while fucking me was a HUGE turn-on,” Looking for more sex position ideas? Check out our Sex Positions Playlist.
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“My personal favorite, because I am a pillow princess, is a lifted queening position,” says Gigi Engle, writer and sex educator. “You put one or two pillows under your (or your partner's) booty to get an extra lift for sex. With your hips tilted up, they won't get suffocated by your moof [Engle’s affectionate term for her vulva] and have a better angle for finger or toy penetration (which is my personal fav when getting head).”
I’m all for snuggling up behind my partner, facing the same direction, then reaching my hand around her and between her legs. I can finger her while she plays with a vibe. Or, I can penetrate her from behind with a strap-on, while she plays with her clit. This position allows for a lot of sexy possibilities.
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Cam girl and clip star, Cory Chase, likes to do an inverted 69, where she holds her partner upside down and puts their vulva her mouth while the partner hanging down does the same in return.
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"I had a girlfriend who was really into finding creative ways for us to both penetrate each other at the same time. One of my favorite positions involved me first strapping a dildo to my thigh with a thigh harness, then lying flat on my back and holding a vibrator on my clit,” says Shakti, the polyamory pundit behind, I’m Poly and So Can You. “My girlfriend would slowly ease herself onto the dildo and then finger or fist me while she rode the toy. It was super-hot!"
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Another great position is this oral sex position, which can also work for dual-cunnilingus. In this position, one person lies on their back, with their head at the edge of the bed, while the other person stands on the floor straddling their face and receives oral sex. The person "getting their hood checked" can either just enjoy it, or bend over to reciprocate.
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Ryn Pfeuffer
Ryn Pfeuffer is a versatile print and digital writer specializing in sex, lifestyle, and relationship topics. She got her start in the mid-90s at the Philadelphia Weekly, managing a 10-page section of the newspaper and more than 500 lonely hearts.Her professional stock skyrocketed when she started writing a saucy (and pre-Carrie-Bradshaw-era) dating advice column called “Ask Me Anything.” She appeared regularly on local radio stations and late-night TV as an expert on everything from grooming habits to threesomes.Over the past two decades, her work has appeared in more than 100 media outlets including Marie Claire, Playboy, Refinery29, The Globe and Mail, The Washington Post, WIRED, and Thrillist. She adopted a pseudonym and was AVN’s (Adult Video Network) first female porn reviewer – while penning children’s books at the same time.More recently, she is the author of 101 Ways to Rock Online Dating (2019). She lives in Seattle with her rescue dog, Mimi. You can find her on Twitter @rynpfeuffer or IG @ryn_says
