This Crazy-Ass Survey Shows That Left-Handed People Are More Sexually

Editor's Note: As you might already have guessed, Kinkly teamed up with LELO and the Redhead Bedhead to play a little April Fool's prank on readers. Sorry folks, but DEXTRÜS, LELO’s fabled sex toy for right-handed people, is a hoax. The good news is, so is the research behind it, which means that all you right-handed people out there can get back to having amazing orgasms (and stop worrying that they aren’t as powerful as your left-handed friends).

If you signed up to win a DEXTRÜS, you will still be entered to win one of LELO’s other great (and very real) toys.

Plus, in return for joining in on the April Fool’s Day fun, we’re giving out a special discount code for 20% off LELO’s amazing, ambidextrous sex toys for couples. Check them out here, then use the code "KINKLY" during checkout. You’ll get 20% off your order!

It wasn’t too long ago that left-handed kids were forced to switch to using their right. Cruel, right? Fortunately, developmental psychologists have long since debunked the idea of "wrong-handedness" as, well, wrong-headed. Based on data from LELO’s Global Sex Survey, however, lefties aren’t just equal to the right-handed majority, they may actually have the, ahem, upper hand, at least when it comes to experiencing sexual pleasure.

Yup, you heard that right. LELO’s survey results showed that 86 percent of left-handed respondents claim to be "extremely satisfied" with their sex lives, compared to only 15 percent of right-handed people. When you consider the fact that 91 percent of people are naturally right-handed, that’s a pretty sad statistic.

How can this be? We can't know for sure, but other research suggests it could be the way we're wired. Left-handers receive pleasure from the right side of the brain, which is responsible for artistic, creative and sensual thinking. Meanwhile, right-handed people’s orgasmic thoughts must travel through the analytical, left side of the brain (where, I can only imagine, each poor little orgasm becomes too analytical, high-strung, insecure and ultra-competitive to fully bloom.)

In response to this reearch, LELO is introducing a vibrator that’s designed to help sexually squelched right-handers like me get more sexual satisfaction ... and possibly a few more brain cells. According to an April 2013 study, left hand activation in right-handed people can activate the right side of the brain, improving memory and possibly even overall cognitive function. It’s called DEXTRÜS, and it's the first vibrator that promises not only bigger orgasms, but a bigger brain as well.

A vibrator that makes you smarter? Is this a great idea or the most offensive thing ever? I’m not sure. And according to LELO, I might be a few too many brain cells short to figure it out until I get my hands on this thing. As for all those poor left-handed kids out there who were forced to switch? Let’s just hope they stuck to using their left in their alone time.

If you want a DEXTRÜS for yourself, sign up to win one (or one of LELO’s other ambidextrous products) here. Note that you need to scroll halfway down the page.

Stay tuned for a review of the product.