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6 Rules for a Successful Threesome

by Kinkly
Published: FEBRUARY 22, 2016 | Updated: NOVEMBER 17, 2023
Having a threesome can be an exhilarating experience - but it also has the potential to ruin a relationship.

Oh-la-la, a ménage-à-trois! Many have fantasized, but far fewer have enjoyed the pleasure that an extra partner can bring to the table. And really, that’s a shame because threesomes can be wonderful. It can be the ultimate sexy gift for your partner. Sure, chocolates and roses are nice, but an unforgettable triad tryst ... well that’s an entirely different level of amazing!

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That being said, threesomes can open up all kinds of feelings and cross any number of personal boundaries. Ensuring that everyone has a great time involves getting the rules right. Here are six rules to follow for a fantastic threesome experience.Should You Follow These Six Rules?

The truth is, if you’re a single, there aren’t many threesome rules at all. Just do your best to find partners that are looking for the same no-strings-attached-fun that you are and enjoy yourself! The rules we detail here are for couples in a relationship.

Also, remember that there are different threesome configurations. We’re going to focus on two women and one man, or two men and one woman. There are, of course, other scenarios. Plus, the interactions in these configurations can vary as well. When it comes to the power of three, there are endless possibilities for your pleasure!

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Rule No.1 - Fantasize First

The main reason a threesome can end up causing a serious rift in a relationship is because it wasn’t discussed honestly to begin with. If one partner is feeling pressured into the threesome, there’s a pretty good chance that things will go south. Make sure you’re both truly on the same page, and that this isn’t something one of you is doing to please the other. If you’re both on-board, it’s time to start fantasizing!

Next time you’re getting hot and heavy with your partner, ask them what they would do if there was another person in bed with you both. Describe to each other how you would want that third to add to your experience together.

Afterwards, discuss the fantasy with your partner. How did the idea of a third person feel? What emotions did it bring up? Was the sex hotter than usual? Some couples find that just fantasizing about a third increases their pleasure, and many even decide to stop there. Just the erotic fantasy may be exciting enough. On the other hand, you may decide together that having a threesome is something you can’t wait to pursue, in which case, read on!

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Rule No.2 - Set Some Limits

OK, OK ... I know you’re waiting for us to get to the sexier stuff, but rules are important! Having limits and rules in place is an easy and important way to make sure things go well. For example, you may decide that you only want your partner to climax with you, or maybe certain acts will be strictly off limits. These things all need to be decided ahead of time, or it will lead to arguments later.

Never - under any circumstances - break the rules that you’ve set! While you can certainly change the rules for the next time around, that should be done when you and your partner can discuss things with clear heads.Rule No.3 - Never Choose a Friend

Now that you and your partner have discussed it, made rules, and mutually fantasized about it, it’s time to find yourselves a third for your threesome. Now, pay attention because this is possibly the most important rule. Do not to choose someone that either of you already knows. Having a threesome with a friend almost always causes problems. Seriously! Just don’t do it.

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If you’re thinking about finding a male to complete your trio, you probably won’t have too much difficulty seeking someone out. However, if you’re looking for a lovely lady, you may have to pound the pavement a bit harder. If you live in an area where there are swingers clubs, they could be an ideal place to meet someone looking to join the two of you for some fun. You can also check out websites designed to help people meet other sex-positive friends in the area.Rule No.4 - Keep Everyone Informed

Once you’ve found someone who’s looking to play it’s time for ... more talking! We’re sorry, this really is the last time though, we promise.

Now that you’ve found a friend to complete your triad, you have to discuss limits and expectations with your latest addition. Let them know what the two of you are hoping for, and ask what they want as well. The idea of a threesome is for all of you to have amazing sex together. Being selfish as an individual, or as a couple, is not the way to go.

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Rule No.5 - Keep Everyone Busy

Yes, you are finally ready and it’s time for some action! Remember not to be selfish. All three of you should be involved at all times. Keep your hands busy, and help each other reach climax. Men should try their best to prolong their climax. If the threesome involves two women, this can be extremely exciting and hard to do, but try your best.

You should also try your best to put a little more focus on your partner - without ever excluding the other person. No one should feel left out, but you also don’t want your partner to feel like you’re more interested in your newfound friend either.Rule No.6 - No Sleepovers

Do not let the third person stay for a sleepover! It’s just not a good idea especially if you’re new to this. Let your newfound friend know this ahead of time too, so that no feelings are hurt. You and your primary partner should use the time after the experience to reconnect again.

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Honesty after the threesome is important too. Partners will often lie about their feelings to protect themselves or their significant other, but these lies can cause more harm than good. It is completely normal to have feelings of jealousy and insecurity, and these feelings need to be discussed and not disguised.

If you follow our advice, all three of you should be in for an awesome experience. Let loose, stick to the rules you’ve made, and have some unforgettable sex! You’ll be amazed by the pleasure a couple of extra hands can add!

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