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I’m not going to tell you that a sex toy could sit on your mantle in front of your mother and she wouldn’t suspect for a second that it’s not just another nick-knack. I’m also not going to amuse you with cheesy puns like “the Cum Whisperer 3000 makes me do more than whisper whenever I cum”… [I can't even keep a straight face while typing that]. Mostly, I investigate objects of sexual wonder, write honest reviews, and eat glitter for breakfast.

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