We are discovering countless ways to sexually enjoy our bodies. Yet, still the fallback seems to always be penetration. This week's Sex Stories We Love gets into all of the other ways we can have sex without getting into anything!
To Penetrate or Not to Penetrate
We are all inundated with the idea that penetrative sex is the be-all, end-all of sexual pleasure. Not just when it comes to heterosexual penis-in-vagina intercourse, but also for gay men where anal intercourse seems to be assumed as the norm. However, we are humans and we enjoy and don't enjoy a wide range of activities, and I really think "the norm" should never really be applied to sex and sexuality. There are countless different ways we enjoy sexual pleasure and we should only be with people who have compatible likes and dislikes. Find what works for you. If it isn't being penetrated or penetrating someone else, then don't feel pressured to stick with these activities.
So, if penetration isn't your thing, what are you going to do for sexy fun? The simple answer to that is SO MANY THINGS! There are many ways to feel pleasure and give pleasure that do not involve penetration. Whether you're just not interested in or have physical or emotional reasons to not want penetration (including vaginismus or trauma), your options for optimal sexual pleasure are countless. Here's where your sexual creativity comes into play. You can take inspirations from cultures around the world, explore different sexual cultures, such as BDSM or get wild in your own mind. There is no limit to our sexual imaginations!
Work It Out
Going to the gym to get your sweat on is a way of life for some folks. It can become addictive because being healthful can make you feel better physically, but also in other aspects of your life. I bet there will be more people looking to sign up for memberships (when it is safe to do so) after heading about Holly Bradshaw's coregasm while working out. I'd never heard of this before but it does not make sense. All those muscles, all that squeezing. Our bodies are beautiful machines that can definitely surprise us with unexpected and amazing results!
Going Down Is Great
When I research this column every week, I look for trends and common themes across the sexy internet and when I hit on one, I follow up with some of my favourite bloggers to see what they've written about recently. When I realized non-penetrative sex was this week's theme, I was delighted to see that Emma Austin has a stellar post up about how to go down on a woman (and I'll add this could be anyone with a vulva). Oral sex is so much more than tongue on clit. It is an experience and a connection. Our mouths and our vulva coming together can be raw and wild or loving and intimate...or all at the same time!
To the Bottom of It
Butt stuff has been all the rage in sex talk for the past several years. So much so that it is even creeping into mainstream media. These days, it seems like everyone is taking something or other through the backdoor. Unfortunately, most anal sex representation focuses exclusively on penetration. How can that be when the exterior of the posterior is wonderfully sensitive and delightful? Meaghan Ward tells us how a deep anal dive isn't her thing, but she sure did enjoy some outer bum fun. There are plenty of things we could do to our lover's butts that do not involve penetration or even touching the anus. Everything from gentle kisses to impact play with hands and floggers...oh my!
The Games We Play
Finally, if you're looking to expand your sexytime fun beyond penetration, try titillating your partners by playing some silly games. If you don't see your favourite on the list, don't worry! Any game can be turned sexy if you try.
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If you're just tipping your toe into the world of BDSM, you may be unsure where to even start when it comes to planning out a scene.
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