I sometimes wonder how long it took for humans (or our ancestors) to discover kink. Sure, they were probably humping around all over the place, but when was the first time one of them looked at a foot and thought, "That's what I want, right there!" Kink may not be commonplace in our culture, but it's long existed in our lives. This week's Sex Stories We Love looks at kink in all of its wide and wonderful glory.
Oh, Baby! Crunch Those Numbers
People are finally talking about kink. And considering it. And researching it! While not everyone is into kink and alternative forms of sexual expression and desire, a fair number of folks are totally into it. Yet, despite this, kink remained on the backburner of sexual research. However, now that there's an appetite to discover more about this other side of sex, more players are getting into the game! Of course, whenever any kind of data can be mined and explored, the numbers nerds come out to play (and isn't that kinda kinky in itself?) When The Stranger handed over their sex survey results to data science and machine-learning consulting firm Nolis LLC, those naughty number crunchers tied that data up and spanked some fascinating results from raw information. The presentation gives a great look into the respondents' sex lives and how much kink plays a part for some people.
So, just what are some of the more common kinks and fetish interests folks enjoy these days? Having followed these trends for a number of years, I have to say I am surprised that the results rarely vary. Only when something comes along in popular culture or media do we see significant variance in which kinks curl the most toes. BDSM and foot fetish are almost always on every list, which is an interesting juxtaposition because BDSM is a very broad collection of related activities and foot play is such a specific interest. Other frequent and notable faves are voyeurism, exhibitionism, spanking, and roleplay. Do you think there are others that will ever surpass these in popularity?
While kink is experiencing some renewed attention, let's not think that people were discussing and detailing different desires before. Over the years, there have been a plethora of amazing books about all kinds of perversity. Looking back at some of these books, you'll find they can still be great resources, although they might have some issues in terms of audience and writing style. The classic "Deviant Desires," written by Katharine Gates, was recently reissued. It offers a fantastic look at kink, fetish and more from the year-2000 perspective. Sure, it's a bit narrow in scope with more of an emphasis on straight, cisgender people. Yet, at the same time, Gates offers a treasure trove of excellent kink information that should make it a fine replacement for the "Fifty Shades" series.
Can Kink Heal?
I don't normally include advice column content in Sex Stories We Love, but this question and response offers a very important touch-point for a greater conversation. As much as we're learning just how prevalent kink is for people, we're also learning that sexual abuse is a rampant problem. After experiencing such trauma, it can be very challenging for people to think of or participate in sex. Yet, there have been some studies and research completed that suggest, for some, that finding kinky activities they enjoy could help them move forward in sexual relationships when someone has experienced trauma.
If you've been on the Internet looking for kinky content, you have, at some point, found yourself looking at something produced by kink.com. The institution of world wide wickedness has undergone some big changes over the last year. They've sold The Armory, their fortress of fucking, and launched a titillating tech revolution under their venerable moniker. Overseeing these changes is their new CEO Alison Boden. Boden combines a strong tech background with a desire to produce great, sexy content. This makes kink.com another sex-related business with female leadership, which is a great movement in the industry. As the enterprise moves forward, it will be fun to see how tightly they can bind us to our screens.
Finally, one of the true exemplars of kink becoming part of our common sexuality is the rise of fetish and specialty sex shops. Good luck in your new space, Doghouse Leathers!