These past few months have been tough as people spent so much time quarantined indoors. For many, the desire to get outside is primaland strong. And that often includes the desire for some strong, primal outdoor lovin'. This week's Sex Stories We Love explores the potential of outdoor sex.
Exhibitionism and Consent
For many, sex in the general outdoors carries with it the potential for more than just the physical pleasure of touch. Some folks, generally referred to as exhibitionists, get off on the idea of being seen and watched while performing sexual activities. While the idea of YKINMK (your kink is not my kink) is a positive reminder that we all have different conceptions of sexy and appealing, exhibitionism carries with it negative connotations that stretch our ability to accept it. One big issue is consent. It might turn you on for people to watch you fuck, but those people did not consent to seeing sex, and that could be traumatic. If you are going to engage in public sex, do it in places with controlled audiences who will appreciate your shenanigans.
That brings us to the tricky concept of cruising. While the drive to be seen by other folks may not be part of cruising, it is, nonetheless, a controversial outdoor sex activity. However, there are political and social factors that make cruising more understandable than just thrills. For the LGBTQI+ community, cruising is an integral sexual outlet when none others might exist. Some folks aren't or can't be left out. Some towns don't have sex venues that allow queer sex. Do these factors outweigh the fact people stumbling upon cruising sex are also not giving consent? No, when is why I propose a solution that could help queer folks who are cruising out of necessity and exhibitionists. Can't we just make some areas of parks designated cruising areas? Kids have playgrounds. Dogs have dog parks. Can consenting adults carve out a bit of space, too?
We definitely aren't out of the woods when it comes to the pandemic. However, people are very eager to get outside and possibly go on dates. There are plenty of health considerations to ponder before you put your rod back into the dating pond, but if you're ready to start dating again, check out these ideas for outdoor dates. Fortunately, many of them do offer the opportunity to socially distance while you get to know each other. Save the close contact suggestions for another time. And maybe you will make getting tested for COVID-19 part of your fun day before you take things further!
Perhaps the most common type of outdoor sex is auto-erotic. Car sex has long been a bastion of hope for people who don't actually have somewhere to go and fuck, but it is also a perfect opportunity for something fun, spontaneous, and a little wild. Cars actually offer a significant amount of variety when it comes to positions and opportunities. Inside the car or outside? Moving or parked? Manual, oral, or penetrative? I will say this, car sex is very rarely comfortable sex. I'm of the mind that it is meant to be fast and furious. Also, once you steam up those windows, it can take a while for them to clear up enough to drive safely.
It is easy to become used to the sexual positions we frequent in our homes. They often involve a bed, couch, or solid flooring. In other words, something stable and discreet. But if you're up for some out-of-doors sex opportunities, you're going to have to expand your sex position repertoire to include more standing, leaning, oral, and hands. Creativity is paramount, particularly if your shenanigans have to be on the sly because you're around other people. If getting caught is a concern, being able to pivot and explains your sex as something else is key. "No, we were just hugging!" "We were just examining the bark of this tree!" "I swear a giant bass just stole both of our bathing suits!"
Finally...beach sex. Romanticized and glorified but damn...when sand gets into your most sensitive areas, it really makes you rethink that decision.
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