"Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends"
- The Beatles
Everyone needs friends and allies to make change. This week's Sex Stories We Love shows the importance of allies and friendships.
A Better Connection Than PB&J
Peanut butter has long been a trusted friend to many—and now it is helping out sex workers and the body positive movement! It is great to see a small business foster a relationship with a group of people who need allies in their fight to gain rights. With Fatso Peanut Butter donating clothing sales proceeds to Peer Victoria, an outreach organization for sex workers, we see an acknowledgement of the validity of the goal of decriminalization for sex workers. This is a sign that some in the community believe in the cause and are, literally, willing to put their money where their mouth is. So, we should put their peanut butter in our mouths and their super cute peanut apparel on our bodies!
Mastercard Move Trans Rights
What Fatso is doing is great on a local community level. It is also heartening to see a mega corporation like Mastercard help take the evolution of the trans community to greater heights. The credit giant has made possible, through partnerships in certain American states, the option for trans people to use their chosen name on payment cards even if that does not match their legal name. This is a significant advancement because countless people have been forced to endure significant hardship, embarrassment, or even physical violence after presenting documents with names that do not match! This is great news!
Care Over Anger
When it comes to sex, it is safe to assume that the person we most rely on as allies are our partners. And when something is troubling one person, such as a physical ailment like vulvodynia, it is natural to assume that the other(s) would be helpful and caring. That's the rational assumption. Unfortunately, a change in a sexual relationship can be a trigger that causes many challenging emotions and reactions. Vulvodynia is a painful condition that can be brought on by penetrative sex. If your partner experiences this condition, or other conditions that cause them to not be able to have sex, it is crucial for you to learn and to be empathetic. You might not be having the sex you want, but your partner's care is the most pressing concern.
Penis Transplant Success
The medical world has been both a strong ally and detrimental to our sex lives over the years. There are continual great advances, but we must acknowledge historical wrongs that have been perpetuated, particularly on women. However, as noted, there are many positive medical steps that are helping people move forward with their lives. And when you hear about a Navy veteran who has significantly recovered from a penis transplant, you have to smile. This person, who served his country, regained a sexual life after the lower part of his body was blown off by a bomb. This veteran received a great gift from medical science.
Flipping Off Stigma
Sometimes to be a good ally, you must take a stand and flip off the standards we see in the world. Hot Octopuss, a company that has long made a difference in and for the sex community, launched an ambitious and awesome campaign to remove stigma and negative feelings around masturbation and sexual pleasure. In conjunction with the launch of their new gender neutral toy Digit, the company initiated #ShowStigmaTheFinger, a campaign featuring ambassadors who challenge ageism, transphobia, body shaming, mental health, homophobia, colorism, and ableism. Who best to fight for us than ourselves?
Community As Ally
Finally, it was great to see so many protest trans misogynist blogger Meghan Murphy's recent Toronto speaking appearance. The Toronto Public Library may not have the back of the Trans community, but the wider community most certainly does.
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