Society has made great strides when it comes to accepting that masturbation is normal and healthy. However, considering how greatly far behind it was, it still has a ways to go. Especially when it comes to women being allowed to own and enjoy their sexual pleasure. Society still holds a bit of a taboo around women masturbating.
The Benefits of Knowing Your Body (And Your Vulva)
According to FeelMore.Global's 2019 Self-Pleasure Report, 78% of women in the United States have masturbated at some point in their lives, most starting at age 15.8. However, 91% of men have masturbated at some point and started at an average age of 13.4. Psychology Today coined this difference of masturbation rates as the 'Masturbation Gap.'
But we believe, it's time to close that gap. Masturbation is a wonderful way to get to know your own body and what it likes.
According to the 2019 Self-Pleasure Report, 37% of women found masturbating alone to be more pleasurable than having sex with a partner!
Masturbation is your time to devote your attention to yourself and your pleasure. Here are just a few of the many reason why masturbation is the greatest.
Get to Know Your Body
The majority of us are taught sexually anatomy in health class. We know the vulva has inner labia and outer labia. We know there’s a clitoris and G-spot (although some sex ed classes do not even teach that). We’re taught how to label our anatomy on a photo.
While that knowledge is important, we're not taught to actually go explore and learn about that anatomy. Your body will not look the same as the photo you’re taught to label in sex ed.
Every vulva is unique and getting to know yours is some of the best information you can gather to improve your sex life.
We also live in a world that tries to shame vulva-owners about the appearance of their vulva. Think of all the things we do to make our vulvas “appealing” to our partners. We shave, we bleach, we trim. Some of us even get surgery in order to alter the appearance of our vulva.
Masturbation is the perfect activity to help you learn that your body is perfect just the way it is. Don’t be afraid of the way your vulva looks!
The best thing about all vulvas being different is that they all like different kinds of sensation and stimulation. Spending time exploring your body through masturbation helps you understand your vulva.
Discover What You Like (And Don’t Like)
There are so many different ways to masturbate. (We would know; it’s literally our job to write all about them.) However, when it comes to self-pleasure, the most important part is finding what you like. What works for someone else will not necessarily work for you.
Some people love clitoral stimulation with a air suction vibrator, while others have extremely sensitive clits and find direct stimulation painful. For them, keeping their underwear on while using a rumbly wand vibrator that has a wide head may be the ticket. Some people like pressure against the pubic bone. Some like having their labia stroked or sucked. Some like deep thrusts, some like no internal stimulation.
There are so many different kinds of way that you can please a vulva, and it’s an incredibly fun journey to get to figure it out!
Become Comfortable with Sex Toys
There’s a common myth that sex toys are for people that “can’t get off by themselves.” To which we simply say: Poppycock!
Sex toys are called toys for a reason. They’re not sex tools or sex aids. Sex toys are here to encourage play and enjoyment.
They can help you figure out what turns you on and discover what your body is capable of. Sex toys can also help take the stress out of masturbating. Play around with a toy! Discover all the amazing things they can do for you.
Masturbating isn’t about racking up the orgasms. It’s about pleasure!
If you’ve never experienced an orgasm before, we highly recommend trying a sex toy. If you’re a vulva-owner, try one designed specifically with vulva-owners’ pleasure in mind, like the Pearl2 G-Spot Vibrator by KIIROO or the Lora DiCarlo Baci.
Have Better Sex
Sex with a partner or partners can be a lot all at once. At the very least, you now have another person and their body that you have to think about. And when your blood is pumping, it can be hard to focus.
Masturbating is like creating a playbook for your self-pleasure. (We apologize for the football reference, but there it is.)
Masturbating teaches you the skills and techniques that you can then bring into sex with a partner. If you know what you like, it makes it incredibly easier to guide your partner along!
Of course, this means you also have to tell your partner what you like. Communication is the key to great sex! Bring all your knowledge from your masturbation sessions into sex with a partner. Guide their hands or provide them with verbal directions on what they can do to help make your pleasure more intense.
If they are a supportive, caring partner, they’ll love having insider tips on how to make you happy! Don’t be afraid to speak up!
Learn to Own Your Sexual Pleasure
One of the best things that masturbation can teach you is that you deserve pleasure.
Perhaps in the past you’ve been with partners that cared more about their own pleasure than yours. Or society convinced you that you shouldn’t touch your “hoo-ha” or “lady-bits.” Or maybe you’ve just pushed down your sexual desires and ignored them.
All of us end up building up some level of sexual shame. It’s unfortunately just a consequence of the society we currently live in. A regular masturbation practice, with or without a sex toy, can help us learn to let go of this shame.
Masturbation is an act of self-love, and that is something that each and every person deserves.
Amelia Cohen is an editor and contributor for Kinkly. She obtained her Bachelor's of Science in Biological Sciences, then decided to follow her love of words and received her Master's of Fine Arts in Creative Writing and Publishing.