You know what I find sexually attractive? A whole new batch of Sex Stories We Love!
The Basis of Sexual Attraction
Haven't we all looked in the mirror and wondered "What exactly is it about this sexy mf'er that people find so damn sexually attractive?" Do you also blow a kiss to yourself in the mirror? No?
Okay, let's get back to the topic at hand. What are the qualities that make us sexually attractive to other folks? Some will suggest our looks are the most important factor, but there are actually five pillars of sexual attraction, and our physical appearance is just one of them. You just might notice that some of these pillars play a part in some of this week's other stories.
Dampen the Passion
Perhaps you locked eyes from across a crowded party. Maybe you swiped right as soon as you saw their photo. Could it be that you were introduced and were instantly smitten? You might want to hold those wild horses a little bit if you feel a wild, passionate sexual attraction to another person. Apparently, falling head over heels with intense sexual attraction can be a warning sign of an unhealthy relationship. On the surface, this doesn't seem to make sense. Doesn't passion signal love? You might be surprised...but then again, if you've been in this situation, you might not be.
Sharing Trans Attraction
Our world is built on the dominance of cisgender, heterosexual tropes and ideology. There is very little room for people who live outside these social indicators, and to this day, being another can be dangerous. I greatly appreciate this and all of the stories included in this series on men who love trans women. They offer both personal reflection and social critique and a glimpse into both sexual attraction and love that are rarely included in our current narrative. It is too easy and too naive to say that we should love / lust after / fuck whomever we want without being affected by what others will say. Our culture just isn't there yet. However, sharing, like this, is a start.
We're all familiar with the proverb "adversity makes odd bedfellows" and it seems our current circumstances is making this saying a little more literal! I am sure we are going to hear many curious stories of sexcapades and shenanigans during this period of self-isolation and quarantine, but I don't know that anyone would imagine it might cause people to question this sexuality. Because this diary has been left open-ended, because the author leaves us with questions she can't answer herself, we're left to wonder what will happen to her, to them, and to others who might be in the same situation.
Nobody really thinks about this at the beginning of a relationship, but how would you react if you realized you are no longer sexually attracted to your partner or lover? Now, this doesn't mean that other feelings have necessarily changed. You could still love this person. You could still care about them. You're just not sexually attracted to them. What causes people to lose attraction? There can be any number of reasons, and it can happen to people at any age, in both short- and long-term relationships. It doesn't mean a relationship has to end, but it does indicate some meaningful communication should occur.
Finally, while people often say sexual attraction is based on personality, sense of humour, or other non-appearance qualities, this study says heterosexual women have got a real thing for men's facial characteristics.