BDSM

The ABCs of CBT

by M. CHRISTIAN

Published: JUNE 18, 2021 | Updated: SEPTEMBER 7, 2021 06:05:07

Reviewed by Jon Pressick

on February 5, 2021

CBT can make you think IDK. By following the ABCs of CBT, you'll be a-ok!

Before we get the (ta-da) balls rolling, let’s get something pretty essential out of the way first: while CBT does, indeed, stand for cock and ball torture, the goal isn’t to get your penis-equipped playmate to give up their deepest, darkest secrets. Maybe enjoying these sensations is their deepest, darkest secret! Together, you need to understand the various techniques of CBT that can create intense sensations without, and I can’t emphasize this enough, causing permanent harm.

While “that area” has a lot going for it, it can be remarkably fragile—so much so that CBT should always be done with caution and awareness of the risks involved. Cosmopolitan has some basic ideas and thoughts around the different ways CBT intrigues folks, but ensuring great communication and care is paramount. So, before we grab CBT by the balls: let’s talk safety.

Know Your Anatomy

Part of the pantheon of BDSM play, cock and ball torture should always begin, contain, and conclude with SSC: everything is done safely (emotionally and physically), sanely (that everyone involved has their heads screwed on straight), and consensually (clearly and without equivocation).

If any of these pillars of kink play aren’t being respected, by the top or bottom, then it’s time to back up and go home. Not doing so isn’t just rude. It's sexual assault. Can’t make it any clearer than that.

So let’s take a good look at the territory we’ll be working with. While there will always be some variations, such as with people who have undergone or are undergoing gender affirming surgery, the meat and two veg will often be made up of the testicles (within the scrotum), the shaft, the foreskin (unless it has been removed through circumcision), and the glans (the head). We’ll be getting even more detailed but let’s start there.

Read: Penis Facts or Fiction: What Everyone Should Know

One critical thing to remember about penis play is that while parts of your twig and berries will heal if damaged, there are other parts that simply will not. For example, small cuts on the scrotum, light bruising on the head, or abrasions to the skin will usually heal without any real serious impact on sensitivity or the ability to achieve or maintain an erection. However, damage to the shaft, through something like torquing, extreme squeezing, and crushing, can lead to erectile problems. Twisting and crushing of the testicles can also lead to different kinds of testicular trauma, including torsion or rupture. These conditions require emergency medical attention.

Because of all this, when doing CBT—especially for the first time—caution should always predicate enthusiasm. Take things slow and easy, maintaining clear communication throughout. The instant anything pinches, is unpleasantly painful, or even just feels uncomfortable, stop and get the person out of whatever you’ve put them in as fast as possible.

Unfortunately, one of the quirks about genital play is that numbness can be an indicator of injury or damage. So even though the penile participant isn’t in any clear discomfort don’t assume that everything is going well. Always treat a report that, “I don’t feel anything” the same as “Get me the fuck out of this.”

And if something unpleasant does happen, don’t hesitate to bundle them up and get them to a doctor as soon as possible. Waiting, especially after a bad genital injury, can mean the difference between having future functionality or not—or even long-term problems with that special area. Don't let embarrassment stop you from seeking medical help.

Put a Ring on It

So you’re being safe, safe, and most of all safe—what now? Well, the thing about CBT is that even though the workspace isn’t (sorry, folks) all that big there’s a lot of play with.

Let’s start at the base of things with the tried-and-true cock ring. There are so many different kinds of cock rings, we could probably write an entire book on the subject. So let’s keep this rather simple. First, the ring goes around the shaft and behind the balls, the goal being to restrict blood flow to create a gentle pressure that can both increase sensitivity and prolong an erection.

A cock ring can serve a dual purpose in CBT play. Physically, a ring binds the penis while at the same time ensuring a longer erection while it is slapped or handled roughly. The ring can also have psychological implications. That cock is now ensnared and owned and is no longer under the control of the owner.

While rings also come in rubber, steel, latex, and various forms of artificial substances, I personally recommend the Velcro variety as they are infinitely adjustable and can be removed in a fraction of a second if anything should go wrong. Besides, you can always try others after getting familiar with the basic Velcro-type first. But remember, don’t keep a cock ring on for extended lengths of time—or far too tight—as this can damage the shaft.

Read: How to Use a Cock Ring (and Why You Should Try It!)

The Balls Have It

For the scrotum, the most common form of CBT play is to tug or squeeze the testicles. You can use a hand, of course, or you can try ball stretchers—which are like cock rings in that there are all kinds of types for all kinds of play. Some folks like to use small weights to pull down on the scrotum—especially when they are swung back and forth or up and down. Unlike cock rings, which are relatively forgiving, be extra cautious with anything involving this area as it is far too easy to damage the merchandise.

Another way to involve the scrotum is to attach clips, such as clothespins, to the skin. These can be used in various types of CBT fun, however, they should be tested first. Try feeling the strength of the clip on various other types of skin, such as your earlobe or between your fingers to determine the level of pinch it delivers. Also, plastic clips are best because they can be sterilized (unlike wooden clothespins).

Read: Pervertables: The Ultimate Guide to Using Household Items as Sex Toys

The skin of the scrotum is pretty durable. It is stretchy and strong. Small clips can be put on without any serious risk—though do make sure you are pinching the skin and not any of the more delicate biological mechanisms inside. Use your fingertips to pull the skin a bit and ensure you aren't clipping the vas deferens or any blood vessels.

Giving You the Shaft

For many, the main even of CBT is focusing attention on the cock. Because of the penis's vaunted position in society, both giver and receiver of CBT play can take their own kind of satisfaction in causing it pain. However, whether you're slapping or pinching or squeezing or hitting, let's remember our lessons on controlled enthusiasm!

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One of the basic (and wholly satisfying) techniques of CBT is a simple penis slap. That hard thing is just jutting out into the air and you strike it with an open palm. From the top, the bottom or the side, this simple act offers immense pleasure. Now, you definitely shouldn't wail on the thing, but a slap in a great way to begin incorporating CBT into other play, such as handjobs, blowjobs and even breaks in intercourse.

As already previously noted, be very careful about compressing or twisting the shaft of the penis. If the internal spongy tissue is damaged, the penis may not work the same way afterwards. A great way of preventing this is to use a leather or latex sheath wrapped around it-especially if you plan on doing things like light (and we do mean light) impacts.

The underside of the shaft can also be played with using the aforementioned small clothespins. Again, though, be sure to be attaching them to the skin and not to any inner workings. If you are feeling extremely mischievous and want to remove them briskly (aka, a zipper) a small amount of lotion is highly suggested as one thing you do not want is to needlessly tear the skin in this highly sensitive area.

Getting to the Head of Things

Then there’s the head—with or without foreskin. The entire area can be extremely sensitive for some folks. Consider dialing it back a bit, especially if this is a new experience for you or your partner. For some, what would be considered a "gentle caress" anywhere else on the body can turn into “come down off the ceiling” when it involves the tip of the penis.

For this area, small clothespins or clips can again be used around the glans. If these prove too much, try scraping a fingernail across and around the head of the glans. Use varying pressure and speed—mix it up between a slow, circle all the way around and quick jabs and stabs. Pinching between two sharpened nails might seem sinister, but it can also be splendid. Remember though, avoid breaking the skin.

Some also enjoy urethra play or sounding. This can involve slipping something just inside the slit or possibly much further down the tube. However, urethra play is not a beginner activity and should be studied and discussed beforehand. For example, never use anything organic (such as a chopstick) as it can cause serious infections or damage to the plumbing. If you do want to try this, don't be cheap. Invest in metal sounds—and take copious hands-on classes on their use before attempting anything.

Overall Fun

So far, much of what we discussed has been, for lack of a better word, intimate CBT. Not that CBT isn’t already intimate, but to do any of this, you have to get right down into the zone and have direct contact.

There are other kinds of CBT that can be a bit more removed and might not even involve the removal of clothes. For example, using a flogger on the genital area. For this, have your subject lie down, face up, and with their legs spread. Using the flogger, then deliver a repetitive series of careful impacts to the genitals.

The thing here is to be extremely cautious about what kind of hits you’re delivering since going too hard could damage the penis or testicles—particularly if you can't see it. Much better to use a light, soft, small flogger and have it land near, rather than actually strike the genitals. If this is too much for your subject, or if you might be nervous about doing it, then try putting a pillow on the area to give an extra level of cushion—and safety.

Read: Rhythm Play: A Beat You Can Beat To

The Great Outdoors

Imagine sitting in a restaurant, across from your play partner. You feel their foot snake up your leg, inching closer to your genitals. The tablecloth conceals this act, so you lean your crotch into their seductive sole. Slowly, they push...and push...and push against your cock. The pressure—and public setting—is exhilarating. And then you're pulled out of your CBT revelry by the waiter handing you the check.

There are various, quick ways to incorporate CBT into public foreplay. A quick slap here, a little pinch there. You could get a little more extreme and add weights or a cock cage. Remember though that any impact or squeezing should be done in moderation because the junk can't be seen under the clothes.

Play for Tomorrow

Again (and always), no play is worth long-term physical damage. Yes, the play might be intense and amazing, but if can only be done once, what’s the point? It’s much better to take things slow and easy, learning what works and what doesn’t. Do this long enough and before you know it you’ll have built up a massive CBT toy chest of techniques and experiences to try in the future.

And after all this you might even find yourself becoming an expert on the best way to a penis-equipped person’s heart: through their genitals!

M. Christian

M.Christian is an author who has been published in science fiction, fantasy, horror, thrillers, and even nonfiction, but it is in erotica that M.Christian has become an acknowledged master, with stories in such anthologies as Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bisexual Erotica, Best Fetish Erotica, and in fact too many anthologies, magazines, and sites to name. In addition to writing, M.Christian is a respected sex and BDSM educator, having taught classes on everything from polyamory to tit torture for venues such as the SF Citadel, Good Vibrations, COPE (in Columbus, Ohio), Beat Me In St. Louis, Winter Fire, Floating World, Sin In The City (Las Vegas), Dark Odyssey, and many others.

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