What is stopping us from having sex? There’s a lot of fear out there that our sexual culture is on the downward slope. Is our libido listing? Our desire decreasing? This week’s Sex Stories We Love looks at causes for why might not be having as much sex as generations past.

Raunchy Recession?

Are we really in a “sex recession?” Is this something to really be concerned over? As it turns out, folks in Japan might have something to worry about, at least over the long run. Their sexual habits have changed pretty significantly in the millenial generation. More men are remaining virgins into their 30s, which could alter their demographics in a hundred years or so. But over in North America, where the phrase has been bandied around a lot the past year, the situation isn’t particularly dire. Yes, reports show that millenials might be having less “sex,” but you’ll see from the article that there are numerous concerns with the data in terms of how that term is defined. Sex research is a valuable area of study, but methodology is a challenge in this topic.

Distracted From Desire

If, in fact, our sexual habits, desires and libidos are changing and starting to wane, it will become important to get down to business and figure out what is up with why we’re not gettin’ down. What factors are contributing to a lower collective societal libido? Could it be that our need for sex has lessened? We don’t have quite the same biological imperative to procreate as we used to. Could it be that we have plenty of other pastimes and enjoyments, and that sex has fallen below things like television, the internet and more? Or is it the opposite? Are we too damn busy and perpetually exhausted to actually want sex at the end of the day? It could be all of those reasons - or none of them. Only time will tell.

True Turn-Offs

Now, if you find that your partner’s sexual desire is waning, you could look at all of the above factors and try to talk out some reasoning. Or, you could first look for things you’re doing that just might be annoying your partner(s) and turning them off sex with you. Check out these turn-offs and consider your lover(s): Do you think you’re doing any of these, or other things, to bug them enough not to want to have sex with you? Here’s a simple way to answer that: ask.

Mara-I-Wanna Fuck

As marijuana becomes more socially accepted, we are starting to learn more and more about the positive benefits of weed. And if you’re feeling a loss of libido or sexual desire, a little bit of pot might be just what Dr. Feelgood ordered. The stress is on “a little bit,” though. While there remains an understanding that more research is needed, based on preliminary studies it does seem that some marijuana might help to improve your libido - just don’t overdo it. This is a sound idea when it comes to whatever your choice of intoxicant is. Rarely does excess result in better sexual feelings or physical ability.

Getting Past Boring

Hopefully, none of this has gotten you too down if you find your sex life in a bit of a rut. Even this self-proclaimed “boring” couple figured out what is best for them in their sexual relationship dynamic. They’ve figured out a sex life that works and is good for both of them. One key thing to always remember is that libido and relationships are all relative to the people who are involved. Don’t have expectations that you’ll be like these folks. Just figure out what works with you and your partner(s). This is going to take communication, understanding and listening - the three biggest turn-ons of all.

Cum On!

Finally, where do you fall in the "come" vs "cum" debate? I’m with Girl on the Net; I definitely prefer "come." When written as cum, it is a bit of a turn off for me. Go figure!

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