Pssst...sex is awesome. OK, for most, that isn’t a secret. Yet the ways we keep sex secret can be both sexy and detrimental. This week's top sex stories follow that theme. Let's take a look.
Super Secret Sex
Have you ever been involved in a secret relationship? Maybe you and your partner(s) are just starting out, just discovering your passion for one another, but you don’t want the rest of the world to know. This type of situation can be so damn hot - clandestine sex is ultra sexy! So, why is that? As it turns out, there are many reasons why secret sex might turn us on. Three main reasons are that secrets can increase intimacy, the fear of being discovered has long been a turn on, and secret, new relationships are often exciting just because they are new. This doesn’t mean that folks who’ve been in a relationship for a while and are known and established can’t harness some of this secret sexiness. Exploring new sexual interests or trying adventurous (outdoors or public) sex might bring that thrill on.
Walkin', Talkin', Comin'
For some folks, the possibility of enjoying sexual pleasure - and possibly orgasms - while out and about among people and friends is an extreme turn on. At least we hear that it is. However, I am pretty sure this is the first article that I’ve ever read of someone detailing their experience using a wearable, discreet sex toy. These things have been around for a long time! Maybe they haven't been advanced enough to really try while running errands or sitting at the dinner table, but sex tech is advancing. This opportunity is more geared to people with vulvas and less so for folks with penises (is that a personal pleasure device on your penis in your pocket?). Secret orgasms are definitely on people's radar.
Have a Seat
Sex furniture is an emerging market as people look for useful, yet discreet, additions to their home and sex lives. And there is a good historical context to this. Who knew that one of the most prolific porn stars of all time is a particular piece of furniture? The LC4 is an iconic design also known as Le Corbusier. It was designed by Charles-Edouard Jeanneret and Charlotte Perriand and, according to a new book, "We Don’t Embroider Cushions Here", has seen enough action to rank right up there with Ron Jeremy and Nina Hartley. The chaise lounge is a classic of modern design and, as it turns out, it's extremely adaptable to many different types of porn. In fact, authors Augustine and Josephine Rockebrune have noted the chaise’s use in 800 films!
Some Privacy, Please
Is there any true level of sexual privacy anymore? Has the current state of technology taken that proposition away from us completely? The growing number of incidents of celebrity cellphone hacks and releases of private photos and video has an otherworldly connotation to it because these stars seem unattainable to the general public. Somehow their sex lives are our business in this extremely skewed logic. However, when a nursing home worker records and releases footage of two residents having sex, I have to wonder if having this technology is a damning indictment against us ever having privacy again. Yes, our phones are fantastic to capture everything from a baby’s first words to reprehensible police actions, but having a literacy of how to use them is an important step we must address.
Get the Glow
OK, well, this story isn’t much of a secret, but it might be something that people keep secret from the other people in their lives. Apparently, when we are in relationships, we like to have sex with our partners. When we don’t have it on the regular, we can get unhappy.When some sexytimes do happen, they can create a “sexual afterglow” that lasts up to 48 hours. That’s a couple days of great feelings and positive attitude. However, once those great feelings dissipate, worry and upset can settle in. This type of study can help us to understand pair bonding. It could help people understand each other in friendships. If you have left the afterglow phase and and into the upset phase, we should be able to tell our friends what is really bugging us. But those conversations are still discouraged.
No Hiding Our Bodies
Finally, we’re all bodies of different shapes and sizes. Far more of us fit into “different” than the societally-foolish “perfect” body type - and we shouldn’t be silent anymore. So, let’s work towards, as Alison Stevenson suggests, making the unconventional the convention.