There are always many controversies raging in the sex community. A week doesn’t go by without some situation causing hurt, anger and, all-too-often, vitriol. But let’s remember this is a safe space to talk, so pillow fights only, please.

Racism V. Type?

If we’re going to talk about controversies in the sex community, let’s start off with one of the biggest—the debate between preference versus racism. To put it simply, does stating a preference to not date or be sexually involved with people of certain ethnic or cultural backgrounds make you inherently racist? Or, does it mean you’re stating a preference based on preferred and desired aesthetics? The LGBTQ community, particularly among men, have struggled with this question for a long time. The rise of hook-up apps allowing a smokescreen of anonymity has only served to aggravate the situation, but there have always been men who aggressively state their preferences up front. Is that their right or the result of whitewashing and beauty standards?

It Is Possible

Rape and sexual assault are heinous acts that deserve significantly more punishment than they currently garner. That’s not the controversy we’re talking about here. Instead, a new look at who commit rapes and assaults, and who their victims are might prove shocking to many folks. There is no denying that men are, overwhelmingly, the most frequent offenders, but new research on female predation is raising eyebrows and revealing just how often women do assault men and other women. One big challenge this research makes to stereotypes is that yes, women can cause unwanted penetrative sex from a man—negating the awful trope “You can’t rape the willing.” From these findings, and society’s general head-in-the-sand attitude toward men being sexually assaulted by women, can we assume it is much more prevalent than anyone knows?

A Snip Decision?

Will we ever get control over our own bodies? Will self-determination ever be a real “thing”? If you’ve ever had to navigate the medical complex, you just might wonder that—particularly if you seek help regarding sexual matters. Especially if you’re a woman. I’ve heard about doctors refusing to discuss a patient’s request for sterilization before and have always thought it unbelievable. Who are doctors to say that we have to keep the option open to have children? For women, this struggle is significant (though refusals do happen more often than the article alludes). Are medical professionals trying to keep the human race alive (we are here tenuously, I know)? Are they just under the thumb of the pharmaceuticals who sells birth control products? Are they astute judges of character who have seen, too often, people change their minds and request more surgery to become fertile again?

For the People

In Canada, a young and brash politician once famously declared “There’s no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation.” With sentiments like these, Pierre Elliott Trudeau later became Prime Minister, ushering in more enlightened and understanding views of relationships and sexuality. However, there’s a fuss happening in Germany because of a state-sponsored technology program that granted money to a vibrator innovator. One opposition party objected to the government giving money to the development of a silent vibrator, suggesting other infrastructure initiatives should be given preference over the development of a sex toy. Should public funds be provided to all types of tech innovators?


We’ve seen an influx in the number of sexual identities during recent years. Folks are becoming more and more comfortable declaring their desires and acknowledging their needs. Words such as sapiosexual, demisexual, and skoliosexual emerged as we continue to gain a greater acceptance of the varied sexual world around us. However, the emergence of robotic technologies could create a significant, new barrier for people to confront. Are we ready for someone who defines as robosexual? The opportunities that robots could provide people are limitless. Is romantic love with non-sentient objects in the cards?

Finally, this debate might be too hairy to mention. Can it possibly be smoothed over?

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