Some folks like to improve themselves by learning languages, inventing and building devices, or studying ancient texts. Some of us build body temples or contribute to the community. And some of us want to get our sex game into tip top shape. I don’t have much to offer on the first batch, but here are some ways to improve your sex life.
This week in Sex Stories We Love, we look at eating for sex, doobies and dick data, orgasm influencers, and more!
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If you’re in your in 20s, this might not apply to you as much because you’re probably an invincible fucking machine. But if you’re getting on in your 30s, 40s and beyond, improving what you eat can significantly improve the quality of your sexy times. Back to those 20-somethings: Time to think about your future self. Yes, you can have all the fun you want right now on a diet of pizza, Taco Bell, beer, and vegetables when you go home to visit family. But it's a really good idea to get into better habits now that will be solid when you do get older. Diet makes a huge difference when it comes to sexual performance. Fortunately, different foods provide different benefits, so there are surely some good choices that will appeal to everyone. You’ll note that one item not on that list is marijuana (although hemp is mentioned; I make this comment for those who don't know that while related, they are two different things). The sometimes edible, sometimes inhalable weed is a perplexing substance when it comes to sex. Some studies will say it improves sexual responses and others will contradict that and put the fear out that pot has a negative impact on sex. It is really hard to know what to believe. Marijuana is such a polarizing substance with activists on both sides of the debate. Was there any validity to prohibition-era laws and regulations? Are current activists placing too much stock in something that may work or not work for different people in different ways? Is marijuana’s effect on sex entirely circumstantial to the people and situations it is used in? Fortunately, freer use of pot will aid more studies and help us to better understand these possibilities. Listen, we know that one hallmark of a strong relationship, be it a long-term thing or a hook-up, is honesty. We’re not getting anywhere if we’re not being honest with each other. Yet, it can definitely be argued that there might be some situations where a little tactful evasion is a helpful way to not hurt someone. So if you’re ever with someone and they really want you to evaluate their penis, you can decline offering a cock report card and send them to someone who will offer up a full appraisal of their apparatus.
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For some folks, porn can be a significant addition to their sex lives. Whether solo or with others, some visual stimulation can push all of the right buttons (play, pause, rewind, play again). However, adult offerings that appeal to women and are ethically produced are few and far between and not always easy to find. Which is why the site Bellesa seemed like such a good idea. A feminist site that featured porn without without degrading content and slut-shaming and distinct sex positivity towards women. There was a problem, though: while the porn offered was ethically produced, it was not being ethically distributed on Bellesa. So, if you do like to get off with porn, take a moment to consider how you are consuming it and whether those hot folks on your screen are being paid for their labor. You just might orgasm a little harder if you know they’re getting theirs, too. Fortunately, the Bellesa team did realize their error and have taken their video section down. For many years, women’s sexuality didn’t exist. Well, of course it did, but in terms of research and literature, it really didn’t. Fortunately, that has changed and our collective understanding of women’s bodies and sexual responses has evolved. One of those things we’re constantly learning more about is the different factors that go into what makes a woman orgasm. When you drill down into any subject, you’re bound to find nuance and specificities that can influence, whether significantly or minimally, the desired outcome. Turns out, it is the same with orgasm! Whether it be wearing socks or anal sex or sleeping with a feminist, there are many different influences that can make orgasm more likely. Not all of them will work for everyone - but finding the ones that do can be lots of fun! Finally, if one show on television deserved it own line of sex toys, it is Broad City.
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Jon Pressick
Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. In 2015, Jon edited Cleis Press' Best Sex Writing of the Year, V1 to rave reviews. He's also the winner of the 2010 TNT Favourite Adult Journalist Award and one of Broken Pencil's 50 People and Places We Love past co-host and producer of Sex City. Jon co-produced the queer literary festival Writing Outside the Margins with Xtra Magazine for two years. You can find him on Twitter at @Sexinwords.
