Hook up. Booty call. One night stand. Tryst. Wham bam thank you ma'am. Rendezvous. Netflix and chill. These are all terms for the same thing: casual sex. This week's Sex Stories We Love explores the different attempts, successes, and mishaps involved in these short-term encounters!
Reel to Unreal?
When it comes to sex in the movies, nothing gets the big guffaws and tense drama like some kind of shenanigans resulting from casual sex. Whether it be an odd couple hooking up or a clandestine encounter gone wrong, filmmakers love to slip casual sex into their stories, and we viewers can't get enough.
Do movies really present casual sex in a responsible light? Well, not usually. The film world's presentation of casual sex is much like the presentation of most things in Hollywood: skewed, confused, and sometimes rude. And, as is often the case, it is the women who feel connected to casual sex that is often presented as unappealing. Hollywood...c'mon...do better.
When is casual sex not casual sex? The incomparable Ella Dawson implores us to reconsider the language we use when talking about what we all-too-casually call casual sex. Think about it. Does our choice of terminology lead to a degradation of sex outside of monogamous, committed relationships? Ella thinks so, and I agree. as Ella eloquently points out, the word "casual" gives us an ability to remove humanity from the connection; and that just isn't right. Even if a connection is fleeting, brief, or anonymous, it is still a connection. That shouldn't be diminished or denied. What other word could we use?
Just Don't Be an Asshole
It isn't just words casting casual sex in a negative light. We also need to take some responsibility. Unfortunately, some people aren't cut out for casual sex. Hopefully, those individuals aren't seeking it out. To put it simply, some people are assholes during casual sex. We don't need assholes clogging up the scene. Pure and simple sexual considerations can make a huge difference in whether your casual sex experience is as great as you hoped.
Get Back on That Horse
Hey, many of us have been there. You have a chance encounter and you go for it! And...it goes completely wrong. There are many ways casual sex can go wrong. No chemistry, accidents, injuries, or just dealing with someone who is a real jerk! Yet, here's something to remember: absolutely everything you try in life can go wrong, but you don't swear off completely because one time went bad. You shouldn't give up on casual sex because of a bad encounter. Go into every casual sex situation with positive thoughts and hopefully you'll be rewarded with a positive experience.
Then and Now
Hey, sometimes casual sex turns into something truly amazing. Check out Chloe Summers' story about how a hook-up turned into a long-term relationship. She and her husband sound very happy and fulfilled. Don't think of this story as one that proves everyone pursuing casual sex will eventually settle down from those wild ways. Instead, Chloe acknowledges and embraces her past casual sex and this new chapter of her life. She admits to some regrets, but still recognizes that her previous encounters played an important role in her life. You really can have your cake (multiple slice, even!) and eat it, too.
Casual Sex on Campus
Finally, if you're curious what younger folks on the college scene think about casual sex, check out this round-up of thoughts about casual sex on campus.