There’s a definite thread of content this week that deals with women’s bodies. The legislation of, the medicalization of, and the presentation of. While I offer up thoughts of my own, it is the words in the links that are most paramount here.
1 in 5
A quick Google search tells me some interesting statistics that have a statistic of 1 in 5. In young people, 1 in 5 wake up at night to check social media or send messages. In relationships, 1 in 5 people are keeping a major secret from their partners. In Ottawa, 1 in 5 people are on Ashley Madison.
This week, we also learned that 1 in 5 sexual assault complaints made to Canadian police are deemed unfounded. No charges, no trial. They are just classified and shelved away and the abused are left to deal on their own. This groundbreaking research by acclaimed journalist Robyn Doolittle should be making the rounds and breaking hearts. It shows that this country (and I suspect other countries) have a systematic problem in handling sexual crime. Yet, from what I saw, this piece was a blip in the social media world. Maybe it just comes at a bad time because of the significant issues happening in the United States. However, that we aren’t all up in arms about this literal assault on women’s bodies is frightening.
Pink Pill Faux Pas
So, on the topic of not listening to women about their bodies, it seems that the sales of Addyi, the female sexual enhancement pill, have been fairly limp. Probably because the formula for increased sexual desire had nothing to do with what women want, but everything to do with what men expect. This could have been avoided had the manufacturers really asked women what they want to improve in their sex lives. Turns out, it isn’t increased frequency of sex in a month. See, that’s what men want. Instead, women are more interested in better, more frequent orgasms for themselves! They also want sex to be more fun! Unfortunately, I doubt a pill can help that—unless it produces a new partner whose goal isn’t just trying to convince you to have more sex.
Unfortunately, as seen above, some people in relationships might not really understand each other—particularly when it comes to sex. A combination of social beliefs mixed in with learned behaviours can lead to situations where sexual consent has not be gained. And just to be clear, engaging in any sexual activities when consent has not been granted is an assault—whether you just met each other or have been married for 40 years. And, of course, in all things relationship related, there are differentiations between experience. Cara Sutra opens up and explains active consent (and the potential of non-verbal consent in some situations) using her relationship as an example, and I think many folks can learn from her words.
The Other Women and Porn Debate
If you want to learn something, particularly about sex, it is key to go right to the source. So, when the debate about whether only women should be producing lesbian porn recently came up again, I’m glad an old friend came along with some very wise words. Illustrious, and sometimes controversial, porn director Nica Noelle weighed in on the debate, offering some salient details on the creative process pornographers have to go through as well as the audience lesbian porn appeals. As well, for Nica, artistry and understanding of the work is most key to creating something hot, not the gender of the director. Do you agree?
Take a Look Around
To illustrate Nica’s point, you just have to look around to check out the many different types of porn that are on offer. Producers, directors, and performers are leaving their sexy marks in many different ways across many different genres. From the enthusiastic amateurs to terrific trans performers to arousing aesthetics and artistry, it should not be hard to find something that appeals to you. The folks behind all of these sites are sure to be a mix of different genders, sexualities, and experiences. This isn’t to say that there isn’t some awful stuff out there that fits all of the stereotypical porn tropes that media latches on to, but with a discerning view to your pleasure, you’ll surely find something that you like.
All In Favour
Finally, another state is working on anti-porn legislation.Virginia fears porn, among other things, causes group sex. To which I say, only if you’re lucky, Virginia!