Kinkly: What’s unique about your blog?
Walker: I am one of just two
or three blogs out there that focus on sex and age - meaning that I recognize
that while sex is basically the same, there are unique characteristics of older
adults, meaning over 50, that call for a different kind of writing.
I don’t use
sexualized images. I don’t use images of women who are thin, young, or
photoshopped. I try to reflect a healthy appreciation of aging in my writings and
the visuals accompanying them. When I talk about sex it’s not as explicit as
many other sex blogs - an intentional move on my part to appeal to an audience
that is learning to talk about their sexuality.
I talk more about relationships and communication and feelings as
opposed to explicit talk about the mechanics of sex.
Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering
most often and why?
Walker: How to ask for what
you want in bed. Often, older women are more likely to let the man take the
lead. We weren’t taught much about sex and for those women born in the 50s, it
was often assumed that men would be the experts - we would just follow their
lead. This has led some women to be silent about their needs. I talk about
understanding our own bodies and figuring out how to communicate what we like
when it comes to sex.
Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you
think it drew so many readers?
Walker: It’s an article from
2011 called, What Does a Female Orgasm Feel Like. I think it reflects our lack
of understanding about orgasms, how to tell if someone is having one, what it
looks or feels like, etc. I've had women tell me they have never had an
orgasm, so I suspect the article may attract them as well as others who are just
Kinkly: What’s the best thing about writing a sex blog?
Walker: I love the idea of
giving older women the confidence to expand their sexual practices or take up
sex again. I encounter women who haven’t experienced orgasms, or who dread
having sex. My goal is to provide inspiration, helpful suggestions, and a very
matter-of-fact approach that doesn’t intimidate or embarrass. It may be as
simple as talking about how we ask for what we want in bed. Or, it may be as
complex as helping someone learn about vaginal atrophy or erectile dysfunction.
Kinkly: What’s the worst thing about it?
Walker: Writing through the
stigma about sex for “older adults” and trying to find images or references
that are helpful but not overly sexual or explicit.
One of the more
challenging things about writing a sex blog for older women is the lack of
comments. Everyone wants to talk about it, but not with their name attached.
Kinkly: OK, now for the good stuff: Give us your best
tip for great sex.
Walker: We have to stop
thinking of sex as just penetration. Good sex for older adults means exploring
all the options - taking it slow and playing with touch and oral and moving away
from traditional intercourse as the only way to give or receive pleasure.
Things that were really simple when we were 20 may be a little more complicated
as we age.