It's 2020, y'all! It's a whole new decade and we can't wait to see what it brings our way. To kick off our Sex Blogger of the Month for this new year, we've chosen an extra sexy blog to help set your 2020 mood. Our January Sex Blogger of the Month is Violet Fawkes of Love, Violet!

Love, Violet was chosen by our readers as one of the Top Erotica Blogs in our Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2019 list!

Check out these 10 inspiring and moving questions with Violet Fawkes!

Kinkly: Give us three words that describe your blog.

Violet Fawkes: Honest, articulate, and inclusive

Kinkly: What inspired you to start the blog?

Violet Fawkes:
I started “Love, Violet” as a way of managing my thoughts and feelings as I fumbled my way through finally exploring and embracing my sexuality in my 30s. It’s a space that I use to journal, think aloud, connect with other bloggers and talk about sex, sexuality, sexual trauma, and living a life that involves sex, polyamory and kink in everyday ways.

Kinkly: What’s behind the name?

Violet Fawkes: I called the blog “Love, Violet” because I think of it as a love letter; to myself, to readers, to people discovering it as part of their own kink odyssey. I chose “Violet Fawkes” as a nom de plume because I like the interplay of a delicate, feminine, flower name like “Violet” (and the idiom of a ‘shrinking violet’) against the historically radical “Fawkes” of Guy Fawkes.

Kinkly: Who’s your target reader?

Violet Fawkes:
My target readers are open-minded, curious, compassionate and enjoy cerebral, sensitive smut. There’s nothing harsh or extreme about my blog or my work, but it is smart and personal, and one of the best ways to get to know me is through Love, Violet.

Kinkly: What’s unique about your blog?

Violet Fawkes:
I run a weekly link-up called Lingerie Is For Everyone (LiFE). Contributors share their pictures, stories and articles about lingerie and their experience with it. I began LiFE because, even as a white cis woman, I had long felt that lingerie just wasn’t “for me” because I’m not supermodel thin. I began to look into who is deemed “appropriate” for lingerie by societal beauty standards and I realized that there’s a huge swathe of society that is actively excluded and discouraged from wearing and enjoying lingerie. LiFE isn’t about the actual lingerie - that’s a fun and sexy part of it - but it’s really about embracing everyone who wants to wear lingerie, regardless of their age, gender, sexuality, race, ability, fitness, etc. Lingerie is for everyone who wants to wear it. Period. And that’s what we celebrate each week on the blog. My goal for LiFE in 2020 is to increase exposure and grow an even more diverse community of participants.

Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering most often and why?

Violet Fawkes:
<laughs> Myself. And that’s not always by design, but a lot of what I create as Violet Fawkes is very autobiographical in one sense or another. I’m writing in part for myself and my own growth and expression, but I’m also trying to create a body of work that is both personal and relatable. It’s important, I believe, to share our voices and our stories to help other people share their own.

Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it drew so many readers?

Violet Fawkes:
My most-read post, by far, is a piece I wrote in 2018 called The Source of Control. It’s a personal and reflective piece that involves the history of domestic violence (content warning!) in my family and the ways in which that has influenced/connected me to my own interests in kink and relationship dynamics. Based on the comments, it resonated with many of my readers in one way or another, and even though FemDom is not a part of my current kink identity, the underlying concepts are no less true.

Kinkly: What’s the best thing about writing a sex blog?

Violet Fawkes: For me, the big highlight has been connecting with other bloggers and making friends who want to talk about sex and life and love and writing. My blog has helped me springboard my freelance career and I’m now a working artist and writer, something I have always wanted but didn’t think I’d be able to do. The community of writers and readers and artists in the NSFW blogging world are among the kindest, most supportive people I have ever known.

Kinkly: What’s the worst thing about it?

Violet Fawkes:
I don’t think there’s a “worst” but writer’s block is very real and sometimes the words just aren’t ready to hit the page. Learning how to equate my value as a writer based on something other than productivity has been a challenge for me.

Kinkly: OK, now for the good stuff: Give us your best tip for great sex.

Violet Fawkes: Have the sex you want to have. It sounds simple, but I think a lot of people don’t consider what they really want or how to achieve it because it requires soul-searching, communication and vulnerability. If you can learn to express what you need and find a person/people who support you in that, whatever it looks like, that’s when you will have really, really great sex.

Do you need ideas for your next steamy scene? Take our quiz to get a personalized scene built just for you!

If you're just tipping your toe into the world of BDSM, you may be unsure where to even start when it comes to planning out a scene.

We made this quiz to provide you with your next, or first, BDSM scene based on your own tastes and desires!