It's April and our Sex Blogger of the Month is no fool! This month, we're excited to feature Cara Sutra of Carasutra.com! Cara's website is informative, fun, and very sexy. Here are Cara's answers to our 10 questions.
Sex Blogger of the Month: Cara Sutra of Carasutra.com
Kinkly: Give us three words that describe your blog.
Cara: Informative, libidinous, kaleidoscopic.
Kinkly: What inspired you to start the blog?
Cara: I've always enjoyed writing, especially about personal topics such as my hobbies and interests. Having fun in the BDSM scene led me to create, at first, a purely kink blog with a FemDom theme. Later, I rebranded as Cara Sutra, with my online sexuality magazine incorporating the full spectrum of erotica with my personal sex diary, advice pieces and sex toy reviews.
Kinkly: What's behind the name?
Cara: My online alias was already Cara years before I began blogging, naming myself after a character who resonated with me in Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth fantasy fiction series. In the FemDom scene, I was, therefore, Mistress Cara, which developed to Cara Sutra in line with writing about more varied sexuality-related topics. There's the obvious connotation of the Kama Sutra, so people instantly associate sex with my blogging name.
Kinkly: Who's your target reader?
Cara: Any adult with an interest in sex and learning more about it. Although the Cara Sutra sex blog has articles of interest to adults of any sexuality, relationship status or gender, a large amount of my readers are women, single or in a relationship, aged between 25 - 45.
Kinkly: What's unique about your blog?
Cara: The diversity in content, rather than focusing and specialising on one type of post such as erotica, product reviews or personal diary entries. There's always something different going on. It's a challenge to consistently publish high quality content covering all aspects of sexuality, and although I can't quite claim to be winning the battle, it's certainly enjoyable doing my best each week.
A unique project hosted at the Cara Sutra sex blog is the Pleasure Panel. I had already built a community who enjoyed discussing sex-related matters at my forum, and they were invited to begin writing guest product reviews for the blog several years ago. This was officially presented at the Pleasure Panel in summer 2015 and is still going strong. I attempt to present a new round of products for the team to volunteer for each month. This is financially supported through Patreon, and highlights from the published reviews are shared with the adult industry in a bi-monthly column for ETO Magazine.
Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering most often and why?
Cara: Sex toys. People know me as a sex toy tester, due to the amount of sex toy reviews at carasutra.com as well as mainstream press coverage about the reviewing aspect of my job. Therefore, my audience looks to my blog for sex toy advice, whether that's in the form of reviews (by myself or the Pleasure Panel), buyer's guides or a feature highlighting what's new in the industry.
Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it drew so many readers?
Cara: My most popular post (so far!) is What I Get Out Of Locking A Main In A Chastity Cage. In my opinion there are many areas of BDSM which are still rather mysterious to many, and FemDom is an area of Ds which seems particularly fascinating. Much of the mainstream spotlight on kink in recent years focuses on female submission, so it can be difficult for people (of any gender) with an interest in FemDom to find useful advice.
Chastity is an incredibly popular kink amongst male submissives. The idea of giving up control of their orgasms, and not only that but even the ability to touch themselves for pleasure, without the express permission, then unlocking, from their Dominant. However, I've also spoken to many people who simply don't understand why I would enjoy locking a man in a chastity cage. Therefore, this article covers my thoughts and feelings in detail - both for those who already have the kink (and enjoy reading the thoughts of a Dominant who is also interested in it) and for those who genuinely don't understand why I'd ever want to do such a thing.
Kinkly: What's the best thing about writing a sex blog?
Cara: That I get to write about sex! I mean it's sex...not only is there so much to learn about sexuality, so many facets to discover, but it is (or should be!) a highly pleasurable activity for all involved. Interest in sex never dwindles, it's not dependent on world markets and nothing new (so far) has come along to impinge on the popularity of sexual pleasure. I never run out of ideas when it comes to articles, and there are always new products to test, hopefully enjoy, then review.
Kinkly: What's the worst thing about it?
Cara: That I have to write about sex... Managing a sex blog, for me, sometimes means that I'm writing about sex-related matters when I'm seriously not in the mood. As a commercial site it's not possible for me to take extended periods of time off from my writing and consultancy work simply because I don't feel like it, so it can sometimes be a struggle to muster up the enthusiasm and interest depending on my mood, hormones, illness, kids' school holidays...
Kinkly: OK, now for the good stuff: Give us your best tip for great sex.
Cara: It absolutely has to be communication.
Until sex-tech gives us some way of reading our partern's mind in the bedroom (and I'm not sure that would be such a brilliant idea), the only way to let them know where your hot-spots are, what you've been fantasising about, what totally turns you off and your absolute limits is to tell them. If you feel you're having mediocre sex which could be improved upon by tactfully tipping off your partner, are they completely to blame?
Sex is a bit like a secret society; everyone's doing it, it's just that no one talks about it. Kinkly's mission is to start that conversation, answer your questions and help you discover new and exciting things about sex, love and your body. We guarantee it'll be illuminating, enlightening, fun ... and a little kinky. And that's OK with us.
No innuendos, no judgments and no apologies, just fearless, straight-up talk about sex.