Understand Limitations
Physical safety might not seem like something that needs to be negotiated in a long distance BDSM relationship. After all, you won't even be touching each other! Even so, it should still be addressed.
A good reason for this is that some people still have illusions that a lot of BDSM can be done without a partner. The reality is that very little can really be done safely without someone else being present. This is especially true for ANYTHING involving electricity or bondage.
That said, there are quite a few fun things can be done safely: like clothes pins, nipple clamps, the use of cock rings, or playing with app-controlled sex toys like those from Kiiroo.
The rule here could best be described as “don’t do anything by yourself that is already risky with a partner.” Believe me, the last thing you want is for the submissive partner to be ordered to do something risky and then need help when their dominant is miles away.
Read: 10 Life-Saving Tips for People in Long-Distance Relationships
Welcome to the Future!
In addition to allowing us near-instantaneous communication, our current technology wizardry is also really cool when it comes to long distance BDSM play. There are a number of sex toys that can now be controlled with a compatible app and an internet connection. There are even a few - like the Kiiroo Titan and Pearl II - that can interact with each other, bringing long-distance partners ever closer to interactive virtual sex.
As for how to use them, it doesn’t take a huge leap of imagination to envision integrating one or more of these devices with edgeplay, the domination of a submissive by getting them close to orgasm. By using app-controlled sex toys, a dom can create a remote sexual experience with their submissive - or just switch everything off and leave their partner hanging.
Read: 5 High-Tech Ways to Enjoy Mutual Masturbation
Be Erotically Imaginative
Domination, of course, doesn’t have to be a physical activity. Let’s say that a dominant wants a nice breakfast each and every morning from their submissive. When they are together, this is just a matter of combining eggs with a hot pan, maybe adding some toast. But what about when there are hundreds of miles between them?
The answer could be anything from a set of colorful breakfast emojis that should be sent at an EXACT time each morning, or a detailed written description of the imagined preparation. Miss the deadline and the sub could then receive a punishment, which could include anything from not being allowed to orgasm to having to do an intense physical workout.
Distance Can Be a Turn On
The main thing with having a long distance BDSM relationship is to embrace what can be done and not dwell on what can’t be done.
You can work together to find activities that aren’t stopgaps but are actually sexually and emotionally enjoyable in and of themselves. That way, long distance separations won’t be a negative. Instead, they'll be a wonderfully arousing positive.
With careful and conscientious negotiation, an ever-vigilant eye toward emotional and physical safety, a heaping does of imagination, and a willingness to experiment and play, being separated from your playmates won’t be a time of sadness and frustration, but rather a whole new dimension of BDSM play.