We have so many different ways to describe orgasms: cumming, the big O, la petit mort, and so many others...but do we we really talk about orgasm as part of our sex lives enough? This week's Sex Stories We Love is all about orgasms and what we're still learning about this phenomenal phenomena.

The Origins of Orgasm?

Sex and science have long had a tenuous relationship—particularly when it comes to female bodies. In many ways, scientists have been reticent to research sex and have seemed content to know that penis goes in vagina, swimmers find eggs, and babies come out. It wasn't until recent years that we fully understood the actual shape and size of the clitoris, despite countless cadavers being dissected over the years. So, with all that in mind, it is no wonder that the concept of the female orgasm confounded researchers. However, a new study just might shed light on the female orgasm sensation. Long considered unnecessary for procreation (back to that view of sex), it seems the female-bodied orgasm might have historical roots in triggering ovulation. Does it make a difference, if valid? I'm no scientist, but there are numerous human sensations that do not need a distinct designation of purpose. Tickling, for instance.

Cumming Soon on TV

Perhaps more compelling that understanding the biological function of orgasm is to more properly present the experience as a positive, enjoyable part of some sexual interaction. And what better way to get that word out than by showing more characters experience orgasm in realistic, positive ways on television. I'm not talking about a full pornification of mainstream TV, but rather shows that do depict sexual scenes present orgasms as both a physical act and topic of conversation. The orgasm gap definitely exists, but there just isn't enough representation of orgasms, particularly for women, to bring the discussion forward as something natural and critical. Shows such as Big Mouth, Fleabag, Wanderlust, and more can be more than just entertainment.

Discovering Cervical Orgasms

One of the good byproducts of more discussion about orgasms will be a greater understanding of the wider variety of orgasms our bodies may make possible. For women, the word about the clit is finally out there, and I think we've stopped debating the presence of the G-spot. Yet, the vulva and vaginal area can offer many different sensations for some folks. Did you know that the cervix can be a source of incredible sexual feelings. As with any type of sexual activity, this may not be possible for everyone, but if you'd like to give it a try, check out these tips and ideas for potential cervical orgasms.


Another potential orgasm source may seem a little unlikely—because it doesn't directly involve our genitals—but it might not be that surprising. Our asses are located very close to our genitals, sharing a very tight space with our more sensitive bits. So it makes perfect sense that some of those nerve endings that create happy endings might also interact with our back ends. While bum fun has taken the sexual world by storm, mostly for the male gaze and pleasure, people of all bodies are discovering tremendous orgasm potential through anal sex. this could be due to the actual physical sensations or possibly the psychological pleasures of doing something taboo. Whatever the reason, the potential is there.

Not All Orgasms Are Good

There is another orgasm potential that needs to be discussed, even if it isn't a pleasant discussion.We need to remember that just because someone has an orgasm, it doesn't mean that the sexual experience was positive. Many different factors build our sexual experiences and many do travel arm-in-arm with past or present trauma. Our sexual culture is still marked by stigma, non-consensual actions, coercion, and lack of communication. In any of these situations, a person can still orgasm even if they don't desire to do so. Yet, as a culture, we do need to continue our shift away from believing that orgasm is the be-all-end-all indicator of a good sexual experience.

Ready, Set, Cum!

Finally, if orgasm is your goal of a sexual experience, whether with someone else or on your own, and you find it is taking too long to achieve, try these techniques to race to the orgasm finish line.

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