Nipples are a highly underrated erogenous zone. They boast more than 800 nerve endings and, if you play with them just so, you can signal the same magical parts of the brain that genital stimulation does.

Although I’ve been blessed with 36DDD boobs that straight-up crave stimulation (Tie them up! Flog them! Fuck them and come all over them!), I have yet to orgasm from nipple stimulation alone. Tit-play is one of my top turn-ons, but I’m still on the quest to experience the elusive nipplegasm.

No matter how you identify gender-wise, nipple play can be a super-hot way to spice up foreplay. Nipple play can release the happy hormone, oxytocin. Plus, your trusty headlights are the erogenous zone closest to the heart. So, really, it’s about time this oft-overlooked source of pleasure receives the proper love and attention it deserves.

Read: 6 Little-Known Nipple Facts

A Step-by-Step Guide to Nipplegasm

“A lot of my clients want their partners to pleasure their nipples but struggle to ask for this,” says Sunny Rodgers, ACS, a clinical sexologist and certified sex educator.

According to the Journal of Sexual Medicine, research by Barry Komisaruk of Rutgers University found that nipple pleasure arouses the same part of the brain as genital stimulation. This was found to be true in both men and women in this study. “It is possible for everyone to experience a nipple orgasm,” says Rodgers.

Here is Rodgers’ step-by-step guide to nipplegasm.

Circle the Areola

Have your partner begin by circling the pigmented portion around the nipple. This can be done with fingers, mouth or with an intimate pleasure product. This is the first step in arousal and draws extra blood to the nipple area.

Focus Your Attention

Move to the nipples themselves next, stimulating one at a time with gentle rubbing and slight pinching. A person's nipples will begin to harden instinctively. The harder the nipples become, the more sensitive they are to direct stimulation.

Increase the Intensity

To keep the tension and pleasure mounting, twirl your fingers around both nipples simultaneously. At this point, you will begin to notice that your partner's genitals have become very aware of this sensation and breathing will become heavier.

As your partner becomes more sensitive and turned on, increase the pressure of circling, pinching, pulling and sucking on both nipples.

Read: 5 Steps for Choosing Nipple Clamps

Stick With It

You’ll find that at this point, the nipples will be extremely sensitive. Much like the moment before an orgasm, don’t stop but don’t keep going full steam either. Lighten your pressure ever so slightly to allow your partner to fully enjoy their nipple climax.

It may take some time to ride the almighty waves of nipple pleasure. Rodgers’ notes that it’s quite normal for a nipplegasm to take 10-20 minutes to achieve, so remember to be patient and enjoy the experience of intimate touch. These steps can also be followed for a self-stimulation nipplegasm as well.

Use Lubricant

Rodgers also suggests using lubricant to aid in nipple stimulation. “Natural lubricating options are easily available – coconut oil, jojoba oil, and even cornstarch can be used,” she says. “Whichever you choose will help heighten nipple sensations and will leave this sensitive skin nourished.” How’s that for multitasking?

The next time you engage in sexy time, be sure to give your partner’s nipples some extra-special attention (pending they’re a willing recipient). Think of nipples as you would a penis, cervix, vagina or clitoris – pleasure from all these hot spots light up the brain much like nipple play. We’re all so programmed to think all our pleasure must come from strictly clitoral or vaginal stimulation that we tend to overlook other key nerves. Whether you play by yourself or with a partner, here’s to adding to your orgasmic repertoire!