Mentioning the word "kink" is the easiest way to make someone's eyebrow involuntarily raise. Now, did this reflex happen because of piqued curiosity or distaste? This week's Sex Stories We Love looks at some of the different reactions to kink.
Kink Is Here to Stay
This is the year we're going to get rid of some common social behaviours and beliefs. Shaking hands will no longer be a standard greeting. As air quality rises while factories and cars are used less, we'll embrace a movement towards greener living. And finally, we're going to fully embrace the fact that kinky sex is popular and common. For far too long, we've lived with the trope of sexual behaviour that is all about penis in vagina, with maybe some allowance for mouth and finger action...but that isn't reality. There are more kinks out there than digits in the value of pi! Many people have kinky sex. Many people fantasize about kinky sex. Many people don't think their sex is kinky because to them, it is just sex. And that is a pretty healthy attitude to model.
Making Kink Inclusive
Now, let's not go overboard with a kink lovefest just yet. Sure, kinks are fine and good and fulfilling on a personal level. We are human creatures. When there is a shared interest, there develops a community. The kink community is NOT without its problems. Just like many other communities, the kink community also needs to realize and rectify how it can be difficult to navigate for a person who does not identify as white, heterosexual, cisgendered, and able-bodied. The kink scene has to be part of wider intersectional discussions. We need to share and listen to more voices, such as Mickey Valentine. We need to make the kink community safe and welcoming for all.
Kink Is Valid
A big part of change that needs to happen for the kink community is enabling a more positive representation of kink in media. The most common tropes are whips and handcuffs, leather and latex, and white and heterosexual. Not representing the wider rainbow of kinky folks shuts down their existence and entrance into scenes and community. It also allows for folks who aren't kinky to more easily shame those who are. This can even happen to further divide already marginalized people such as those in the LGBTQ+ community. To hear that some queer folks malign other queer folks by not recognizing the validity of kink is disheartening. Demonstrating that validity through positive representation in media, as has already been happening with LGBTQ+ to some degree, will go a long way to help.
Some Heroes Share Scrubs
One really nice story to come out of the COVID-19 pandemic is a tale of true generosity. MedFetUK, a small medical kink supply site in England was contacted by a local hospital desperate for disposable scrubs. Knowing full well that health care providers are in dire straits and heed help, the great folks at MedFetUK donated their entire stock of scrubs to the hospital to help out. Many thanks and let's be sure to support their business when the time is right!
In Praise of Praise
I cannot stress enough... There are an untold number of kinks out there. People are so magnificently creative when it comes to sex that I can't image there can ever be a true catalogue of what folks find sexy and why that thing, setting, person, language, or whatever turns them on so much. We are all going to meet people who, when trust is gained, will potentially share their kinks with us. Sometimes, we're gonna be surprised. This week's collection was actually inspired by reading about Emma Austin's praise kink. While differing psychological interactions are frequently noted as key for kinky folks, Austin's offering is a wonderful explanation of how and why praise is such a part of her sexual response. A compelling read!
Tiger King Dong
Finally, is sensational television your kink? Then you probably already have a blonde mullet and are ready to be let loose from your cage with this Joe Exotic-inspired dildo. Meow!
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