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Come Together From Far Away: Long-Distance Sex Toys and Tech

Published: JULY 1, 2024 | Updated: JULY 1, 2024
These long-distance sex toys make it feel like your partner is right there with you.

While the old adage “distance makes the heart grow fonder” has a ring of truth, being miles away from your beloved has its downsides: no cuddling on the couch, no quiet mornings sharing breakfast, and no one to hear your clever jokes while watching trashy television.


Oh, and no boning. 

Until recently, having a sexy time from afar has been impossible. But thanks to modern tech, both spicy and non-spicy, you and your partner can screw each other's brains out from anywhere on the planet. 

These long-distance sex toys, tools, and tech make it possible and pleasurable for lovers come together, regardless of the physical distance between them.


The Not-So-Long History of Long-Distance Sex

As long as there have been relationships, distance has always been a problem. For most of history, having your paramour more than a few miles away made it difficult to see each other more than once a fortnight, or some other Bridgerton-esue measurement of time.   

At that point, sending letters back and forth was the only way for long-distance couples to keep things spicy. And if you think every old-timey love letter was filled to the brim with flowery poetry and restrained desire, think again.  Seriously, some of those letters made even me blush, and I write about sex for a living.

Getting closer to the modern age, shortly after phones were invented, so was phone sex. Phone sex can be fun, but it's almost always awkward. Especially back in the day when everyone in the house shared a phone, and the nightmare of a parent, child, or roommate listening in on your feeble attempts at dirty talk could become reality.


Cell phones remove that anxiety, but it is still hard to keep coming up with arousing lines while you stare at the ceiling and try to accomplish what you're there to do. Texting can also be frustrating, with no voice inflections to add to the atmosphere... and the difficulty of typing a spicy message with one hand.

With the advent of cell phone cameras, sexy and nude photos could be exchanged, but these were more of an amuse-bouche and less of an entree.

Then video chat came along and changed the game. For the first time, both parties could put on a live show and interact in, somewhat, real time. However, low-quality cameras and poor connections led to low-res visuals and constant pausing to see if one of you was frozen. Though video chat technology has vastly improved, it still has its limitations.


All of these methods for long-distance sexy times worked well enough on their own, but they all share the same fundamental issue. At the end of the day, it’s still you handling your own business.    

Thanks to advancements in not only everyday tech but also sex toys themselves, long-distance sex is now more interactive than ever, and having a wild time with your partner has never been easier or more pleasurable! Let's dig into which sex toys and tech can help you get some long-distance loving and our expert tips to make your long-distance sex better than ever.

Long-distance sex with the tech you already have

Let’s say your partner is going on a business trip or to their grandparents' house – someplace where bringing sex toys would be a big faux pas. Or maybe you just don't have any long-distance sex toys that can sync with each other at the moment. 


Not a problem! There are plenty of ways to work with the tech you already have to get your freak on.

Video chat sex is a great option these days with better cameras and networks, letting you see every soft curve and bulging vein with crystal clarity. So, grab your phone or your laptop, hop on FaceTime or Zoom, and get nasty! Get creative too. Sure, just watching each other rub one out is cool, but why not put on a show? Think of changing the lighting to something more dramatic or wearing a sexy outfit. 

Long-distance sex is a great opportunity to explore your fantasies. Build up a story and do some role-playing, wear costume and wig, change your makeup, just be creative!


Read More: A Phone Sex Operator’s Guide to Dirty Talk

If you both have some VR headsets, there are plenty of apps like VRChat that can allow for a more immersive experience. Y’all can even change your look with millions of sexy avatars. 

Obviously, if you have sex toys, even ones that aren't designed for long-distance sex, use them individually! We have tons of great travel-friendly and fun to use solo sex toys for both you and you long-distance playmate in the Kinkly Shop.

As long as you have a laptop or cellphone, you can work with what you have and make the most out of it.

Take (remote) control

But, if you really want to reach out and touch someone hundreds or thousands of miles away, you'll need some app-connected long-distance sex toys, which are a godsend to couples who are far from each other! Though there are remote controlled toys that come with an actual remote, the range on those won’t reach across the globe.

Instead, look for app-based toys like the popular Lovense Lush 3, We-Vibe Vector+, or Satisfyer Plug-ilicious. These toys, and others like them, pair with your phone to offer total control and customization. Just have your partner connect your toy to their app and they can take the reins from anywhere!

Long-distance sex toys with app control are especially fun for those with a bit of an exhibition kink. You can put the vibe in, walk around, run errands, birdwatch, or whatever, and your playmate can sit on the couch giving you wave after wave of orgasmic pleasure from hundreds of miles away. Don’t worry too much about the noise when wearing them in public. Most of these items pride themselves on discretion, with the Lush 3 coming in at under 43db in any mode. 

Many of these apps also come with cool interactive features like syncing the vibrations to music or your voice, touch control, and creating custom patterns. That way you can create a surprising, thrilling, and unique experience for your far-away lover. 

If you really want an interactive experience, you and your partner can control each other’s devices at the same time. If you're on a video call while you do it, you can see your partner react to the pleasure you're giving them in real time.

These toys and apps are incredible, and incredibly fun, but the big star of the long-distance show has to be synced sex toys.

Separate, but in sync: high-tech long-distance sex toys

We’ve seen toys that sync up to your phone, but what about toys that sync with your body?

Hi-tech sex toys like the KIIROO Titan Interactive Vibrating Stroker and the KIIROO Pearl3 G-Spot Vibrator sync up with each other so you feel every ounce of thrust and squeeze your partner is throwing. KIIROO even offers a convenient couple’s package, by the way.

Utilizing these toys along with a well-placed camera for video chatting can create intense immersion and intimacy that might even make you forget that you’re not in the same room.

If you really want to level things up with some next-level tech, combine these synced toys with Virtual Reality apps like VRChat. This is a mind-bending way to not only have sex with your partner, but with whoever you want. You can choose each other’s avatars and fulfill secret fantasies that feel so real, you’ll not only forget you two are apart, but you may even forget where you are entirely

This is obviously the higher-end of sex toys and tech, which comes with a higher price point. But this tech is worth every penny, especially if you and your partner are apart most of or a lot of the time. 

Long-distance, but closer than ever

Thanks to advancements in modern technology, long-distance relationships aren’t the hurdle they once were. 

With a wealth of fun long-distance sex toys and tools that can bring you together, no matter the distance, you can be closer than ever. Whether it’s as simple as a camera and some lube, or as futuristic as synced toys and VR, the only limits on your long-distance sex life is your imagination. 

Justin Perlman

Justin Perlman has written about sex, dating, LGBTQIA+ issues, and Pop culture for Philadelphia Weekly, Women's Health Interactive, and Kinkly. He lives with his wife, two cats (Superintendent Chalmers & Dr. Whoopsy Daisy), and a puppy (Walton Doggins).

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