Sex Stories We Love: Judging Jerk Judges, Cringy Cosmo, & Women's Sexuality on Film

This week's Sex Stories We Love is all about assholes. No, not our fun lovin' bums and pervy posteriors. Sorry...we're talking about figurative assholes; the true nasty ones; the people who affect sex and how the rest of us connect with sex in negative ways. You know, the ones we really we we could just wipe away.

Can We Just Flush Certain Conservatives Down the Drain?

I'll admit that it was seeing this picture of this big group of assholes that prompted this week's Sex Stories We Love. The lovely province of Alberta, Canada is currently governed by this lot who decided to have some fun and jump in a fountain at the close of their first legislative session. They had plenty of reason to celebrate. They cut a carbon tax, reduced minimum wage to students, enacted a corporate tax cut, and took away protections of LGBTQ+ students. The previous government gaveGay Straight Alliances important legal protections that this gaggle of asshats stripped away after pressure from religious groups. School officials will now be allowed to call a student's parents if that kid joins a GSA—rendering these once safe spaces a mere shell of what they used to be. So go ahead, United Conservative Party of Alberta, kick up your heels, and hoot and holler of your "impressive" achievements. The rest of us think you're all wet.

Judging Jerk Judges

Okay, New Jersey is getting something right by getting these assholes off the bench. Judge James G. Troiano and Judge John F. Russo, Jr., both came under fire in the Garden State for their (mis)handling of cases involving sexual assault. Troiana refused to try a 16-year-old as an adult because the accused comes from a good family and had good test scores. That asshole's resignation was accepted. Russo asked a sexual assault victim what she did to defend herself, including whether she closed her legs. That asshole faces disciplinary action (and should be removed from the bench as well as disbarred). We cannot change the rising rates of sexual assault until the criminal justice system truly changes its own dangerous thinking. Good riddance.

Cringy Cosmo

Let's give a little credit to Cosmopolitan: their online version is a very good resource for sex, often featuring ideas and content for folks who don't fit into a cis-heteronormative life. That said, we cannot always forgive the sins of the past. For years, Cosmo was the go-to source of sex advice you can buy at the grocery store check-out. It would be great if sex were so commonplace and accepted that the locale were the best place to seek out sage sex suppositions. Rather, for years, Cosmo was the asshole who dished out some pretty ridiculous ideas and advice. Check out this rogue's gallery of sexual offerings from Cosmo.

Stay Away from Supplements

"Big Penis" is a big problem. Over-the-counter supplements have long been a tricky proposition. All too often, across various industries, we hear of extra ingredients included in these products to help produce a desired effect...even at the cost of undermining the health of the person taking the supplement. Now, those who are dealing with erectile dysfunction or feelings of penile inadequacy feel the pressure of not being able to perform to our society's cock standards. And this can lead folks to trying sex supplements to enhance their abilities. Yet, without knowing that your supplement contains sildenafil, the active ingredient of Viagra, which, by the way, can negatively interact with other medications, is a truly dangerous situation. And those making this product are true assholes for putting people in harm's way.

Women's Sexuality on Film

There's no doubt that some of the biggest assholes around are based in the entertainment industry, particularly film and television. The chance to be a star tempts so many and we gobble up stories and celebrity like that sweetest candy. Yet, the moving picture medium has rarely done right by sex...particularly for women. Somehow, Hollywood established some pretty common tropes about women's sex, and these ideas can be found in countless films. Even though a good number of respondents in a survey found the portrayal of women's sexuality in film to be unrealistic, the juggernaut continues on. So, we keep seeing women with perfect hair, ravishing make-up, simultaneous PIV orgasms, and much more continue to be the norm on our screens.

CES Steps Up

Finally, sometimes assholes do learn. You'll recall the uproar after the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) revoked an award to Lora DiCarlo's Osé sex toy. Well, the show is back on with sex toys eligible to display at the convention and win awards. Progress!