How to Give Yourself a Blowjob

Not a myth; not a fantasy: you really can put your mouth where your penis is. All it takes is practice, dedication and a lot -- and I mean a lot -- of loosening up.

Before you know it, you'll be tasting erotic success -- as well as yourself. But even if you can't manage it, there're plenty of equally exciting ways to expand your masturbatory horizons.

READ: Switch It Up: 7 Awesome Penis Masturbation Techniques.

Here's how to give yourself a blowjob:

My advice when starting on your self-blowing journey is to do your flexing sans erection. It's OK if you want to be hard, but getting and staying erect is sometimes at odds with keeping your back and spine relaxed.2. Find A Good Position

How you sit, stand, lay, or whatever can make all the difference in how comfortable, and thus effective, your flexing routine will be.

For some, the best position might be sitting with their back against a wall or their bed's headboard. For others, it might be laying on one side or maybe on their back. Your objective is to find one or several positions that are safe and that suit your oral self-pleasuring exercises.

READ: 8 Steps to Giving a Great Blow Job.

Try not to push yourself too much or too hard. Instead, focus on slowly, steadily increasing your range. Given enough time, even a quarter or a half an inch stretch will eventually get you where you want to go.3. Relax

Giving and receiving pleasure both tend to go over more smoothly when you're relaxed.

Here are some tips to help:

• Do your daily stretches on an empty stomach. For example, in the mornings or before bed.
• Stretch beforehand. Most bodies don't handle going from zero to trying to suck yourself off all that well. To avoid having to explain to your doctor how you strained your back, warm yourself up with some basic yoga exercises beforehand.
• Warm up -- literally. If you're fortunate to have a hot tub or merely a big enough one to lie down in -- or perhaps a great shower -- hot water is a sure-fire muscle relaxant.
• Work with a teammate. Friends can also lend a hand to the tune of massages before and after your exercises, helping you stay in position and giving positive reinforcement when you need it the most. Immediately kick them to the curb if they're pushy, compare you to someone else or make you feel bad about yourself or what you're trying to do.

READ: 8 Awesome Benefits of Using Cock Rings.

One of my favorites is the Blush Performance Go Pro Cock Ring. Stylish and tight in all the right ways, its no-slip design and body-safe silicone material is satin-smooth and safe for you and/or your partner's body.

Blush Performance Go Pro Cock Ring.

One size doesn't fit all, though -- and luckily you can pick up four for the price of one with Sportsheets Rubber O Ring Four-Pack. Alternatively, for a high-tech vibrating experience, get yourself a We-Vibe Bond.

We-Vibe Bond Cock Ring.

Penis Extenders

Hate to burst your self-serve oral fantasy bubble, but your shape, size and/or mobility concerns may make blowing yourself extremely challenging, if not flat-out impossible.

That's not to say you can't taste this rainbow's delights, if by proxy. If it's a matter of length, a penis extender like Sportsheets' Banx Hollow Ribbed may be just what you need.

Sportsheets Banx Hollow Ribbed.

Strap-On Dildos

To avoid having a wobbly and too-tough-to-wrap-your-lips-around penis, a strap-on could be what you need. There's a huge number of them out there, but I'm quite fond of Sportsheets' Strap-On & Silicone Dildo Set.

Sportsheets Strap-On & Silicone Dildo Set.

Conclusion: A Journey, Not A Destination

As sucking your own dick is one of many penis owners' wettest wet dreams, there's a natural tendency to become more than a little obsessive about making it a reality.

Trust me, though, that this sort of attitude only leads to frustration and disappointment. Like everything worth doing, successfully giving yourself a blowjob isn't nearly as important or fulfilling as how much fun you have along the way.

Even if you can't put your lips where you want, trying to blow yourself can be a wildly erotic adventure -- and might reveal a brand new universe of delights for you to enjoy.