How to Build Up Your Partner's Orgasm Through Exquisite Torture

What do we mean by “exquisite torture?” It sounds kind of scary and also kind of kinky, right? It is definitely kinky, but we wouldn’t say it's scary - unless having amazing orgasms is scary to you.

Exquisite torture refers to a series of intense sexual buildups that can intensify orgasm. It drags out the sexual experience, forcing you to feel everything that is happening to your body. Let's face it: we often rush through sex (whatever kind of sex we may be having) to orgasm and move on with our days.

Exquisite torture is a step away from that. Instead, it is fully embracing the sexual experience, living it out to full erotic bliss. Basically, you don’t let your partner (or your partner doesn’t let you) orgasm until you’re good and ready to be set over the edge. And yes, it can be torturous ... in a good way.

Remember to have a discussion about boundaries and consent before engaging in any of this play. It’s important that everyone is on board and down to push some comfort zones. There might be moments when the feelings are so intense that your partner can’t take it anymore. Have a safe word in place for cases in which that happens. (If you don’t know what a safe word is, no problem. Click here).

Here are some fun ways to try sexual torture.

Slow, Slow, Slow Oral Sex

Slow oral sex may sound like some kind of strange erotica term but it’s actually a cunnilingus technique that could take you into your biggest orgasm ever. No promises, but it’s worth a try. This works best with vulva-owners, but it can be fun for penises too!

Spend time with the vulva. Explore it. Devote a solid thirty minutes to oral sex. Let your partner know how sexy they are and how much you want to be down there.

Read: How to Charm a Clitoris

Stick with deeper, stronger movements of the tongue rather than quick, rapid licks over the clitoris. Move in slow, controlled circles. Stay consistent. If your partner resists (and they’ve consented to this), hold their wrists at their side until you take them through to orgasm. It will not disappoint. It can be a full-body experience.

Edge Your Way to Orgasm

Edging is when you tease your partner with oral sex, hand sex, penetrative sex, a sex toy etc. right up until they’re about to orgasm, only to stop right before they come. Then, you start the whole sexual arousal cycle over again once they’ve cooled down.

It’s one of the most frustrating, incredible experiences ever. Once you finally do go over the edge and give into that release, the orgasm is insanely intense from all the buildup. It’s a difficult practice, but with some effort, it can be mastered.

You can get some tips on how to do that here.

Sensory Play

Sensory play is a highly erotic way to up the ante on orgasm and all of your sexual senses. Instead of going right into genital touching or skin-on-skin contact, start with exploring your partner’s body.