Our current sexual climate is tumultuous, to say the least. Many are saying that the recent confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh, despite the allegations of attempted sexual assault, just might strike the match of a new sexual revolution. Let's hope so. Yet, let's also remember that sex, and our attitudes about it, have evolved and shaped us throughout history. This week's Sex Stories We Love looks at just a few examples of the way sex managed to shape the world we know today ... and what might come in the future.
Sex Stories We Love: First Hookups That Changed History, Sex Through the Ages & Click and Trick
First Hookups That Changed History
Obviously, sex goes way back. We have some primal instincts: eating, eliminating waste, self-preservation and replication. Really, it couldn't have taken our ancestors long to figure out that sex wasn't just a means to procreate. Sex for pleasure has, I'm guessing, been a thing for a long, long time. So, when Neanderthals and modern humans connected in the wilds of Eurasia, they performed a crucial act in the development of our current human selves. They had sex. They shared viruses. They helped humans move further along the sexual evolutionary chain. Nothing sexier than sharing viruses to get stronger! There is a lot to be learned and gained from digging into the past ... but this does not apply to sneaking a peek into your lovers' texts and emails.
Sex Through the Ages
Of course, you don't need to go way back into ancient and genetic history to discover that humans have worked to improve their sex game. Even when circumstances were tough and oppressive regimes tried to hold us back, sex has always been a constant in our lives. I mean, who can forget the great lettuce scare of ancient Rome? Does it compare to the significant nastiness of the various religious influences that demonized sex throughout centuries? No, but the point is this: regardless of the social, political, or vegetable impediments, sex continues to move forward.
We're All Normal and Unique
And it isn't just the thought of sex. It isn't just procreative, get it done and have-a-baby sex. Humans have always, and will always, continue to seek out the forms of pleasure they most desire - regardless of whether they're considered "normal" or not. Some tried to dictate that only certain types of sex are permissible, under distinct circumstances, and under certain guidelines. That is all bullshit and a means of exerting control, particularly over women's bodies. Through oppression and denial, these beliefs took hold and, unfortunately, they remain, despite overwhelming evidence that we enjoy sexual play. That we seek fun. That we fuck to make babies and to enjoy ourselves. We love sex in lots of different ways.
Click and Trick
One of those varied ways is to have sex when we want it, how we want it, regardless of whether or not we're in a relationship. Rather than take the brutal route of rape and assault, a much more humane and socially conscious version is to trade something for sexual services, be that money, favor, or something else, sex work has existed throughout time. When sexual transactions are fair and consensual, they help everyone involved. Unfortunately, we know just how demonized sex work became, despite the potential it holds. In fact, sex work's potential extends beyond the transaction itself. Sex workers are important figures throughout history - including the advancement of ye olde internet. Do you shop online? Do you enjoy photography online? Do you build your own websites? Thank sex workers.
Don't Believe It
At this point, we stand on the precipice of a new age that will guide sexual history. Some people try to deny this. Some people try to keep women in a place of subjugation. And these people often use lies to accomplish this goal. A popular notion that is sadly gaining traction is the foolish assertion that men are now victims because of false sexual assault allegations. And because men can scream, whine and control messages through the old white boys' network, it is important to get the truth out. It is important to recognize that false rape accusations are significantly small in number. Like, crazy small. Like, smaller than the size of those old white men's ... hearts. Continue to seek out the truths of sexual assault. The truth matters!
Finally, there is a lot of animosity between different groups in debates around sex. Yet, if the captains of the Canadian and United States hockey teams can find love, then we all have hope of moving forward together.
Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. You can find him on Twitter at @Sexinwords.