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Cuckold

Updated: DECEMBER 21, 2021
Reviewed by Dr. Laura McGuire
on December 14, 2021

A cuckold is the husband or boyfriend of a person who has sex with other people. In a modern fetish context, a cuckold is a man who takes pleasure from his partner having sex with other people. The term cuckold is often shortened to cuck.

Traditionally a cuckold was a married man with an adulterous wife. However, the term now describes any man in a committed relationship who enjoys his partner having sex with other people. Cuckolds may have any sexual identity. The partners of cuckolds and the people they have sex with may be of any gender or sexuality. The term cuckold is the masculine equivalent of cuckquean.

The fetish term comes from the biological term cuckold, which is a male who unwittingly raises another male’s offspring. The term comes from the cuckoo, a bird that lays its eggs in the nests of other birds. The other birds then unwittingly raise the cuckoo’s offspring, despite having no biological connection to them. Originally the term cuckold described a man duped by his adulterous wife. However, most modern-day cuckolds are willing participants in their partner’s non-monogamy. They may organize dates for their partner or watch them have sex with other people.

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Cuckolding often involves mental humiliation. The cuckold left out of their partner's sexual encounters may feel humiliated and frustrated. Knowing another person brings your partner pleasure can be degrading. Cuckolds may feel emasculated as they think their partner needs someone else to bring them sexual pleasure. They may also feel jealous of the other person having sex with their partner. While these negative feelings may be damaging for other people, experiencing them is what many cuckolds enjoy.

Some cuckolds experience positive, rather than negative emotions, through cuckolding. They feel happy when their partner experiences sexual pleasure, even if they are not the one making them feel good, a feeling known as compersion. Submissive men may feel good because they are giving up their place in the bedroom to someone else.

Competition is another aspect of the cuckolding fetish. Some theories claim that men desire their wives and girlfriends more if they've just had sex with another man as it allows the sperm to compete. Some cuckolds say they feel motivated by the desire to impregnate their partner before another man does. Other cuckolds say that they have longer and more intense sex, with shorter refractory periods, after watching their partner have sex with someone else.

While they are all forms of non-monogamy, cuckolding is different from swinging and threesomes. That’s because the cuckold does not participate in the sex act. They may observe it, but they do not touch their partner during their sexual encounters.

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More About Cuckold

Being a cuckold is an exciting fetish for many people. It can form a major part of their sexual identity and they rely on the experience of cuckolding for sexual gratification. Discussing their partner's outside sex life or bringing other people into the bedroom may become part of their regular sexual activities and be intensely arousing and gratifying.

Cuckold fetishism may go hand in hand with other BDSM interests such as female dominance, voyeurism, denial, and verbal humiliation or it may be a more worshipful scenario, where the cuck derives joy from seeing other give his partner pleasure.

So long as all parties agree to this arrangement and play safely, a cuckold fetish can be enjoyable for everyone involved. You should understand that any non-monogamous relationship arrangement carries an increased risk of contracting and transmitting sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Using safer sex barriers (condoms, dams, gloves) and getting regular STI checks can decrease these risks.

This kind of relationship also carries a degree of emotional risk, although that can be said of any relationship. Things to discuss with your partner and be mindful of include someone feeling used for their partner’s gratification or resentful about having sex with other people. Cuckolding should be something that enriches your sex life if you chose it and no one should feel coerced into accepting their partner’s non-monogamy. Open communication can help couples in consensual non-monogamous relationships navigate these challenges.

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Many cuckolds embrace their sexual interest as part of their sexual identities. They seek out partners who understand cuckolding and enjoy having sex with other people and playing along with the fantasy.

For example, the partner of a masochistic cuckold may say that their other sexual partners are more attractive or better lovers. They may tell the cuckold that they only want to have sex with other lovers. Having a partner willing to humiliate them, both sexually and verbally, and who gets off on it themselves, can be a real turn-on for a cuckold. Cuckolds may also try to find the most attractive lovers for their partners to heighten the emotional threat.

Having a taboo sexual interest can also make some people feel ashamed. A therapist can help cuckolds through any negative emotions their sexual interest brings up and help them be accepting of the things they find enjoyment from.

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