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Female Dominance (Femdom)

Updated: AUGUST 30, 2022
Reviewed by Dr. Laura McGuire
on September 30, 2022

Female Dominance (often shortened as FemDom or FemDomme) refers to a BDSM scene or relationship in which a female-identifying person is the dominant partner or top partner. The dominant female consensually takes charge of the submissive partner in these scenes or relationships. Their dominance gives them power over the submissive. This power may be psychological when it involves humiliating or ordering the submissive around. It can also be physical when it involves restraints or pain-giving instruments like whips.

A dominant female may choose to identify with different titles or honorifics including: Goddess, Dominatrix, Mistress, Master, Ma'am, Madame, Domme, Daddy, Queen, and Pro-Domme. These terms have different origins within the kink community as well as in the sex work industry.

While femdom relationships and scenes can include the entire breadth of fetishes and kinks out there, certain kinks (like bondage, ballbusting, CFNM, humiliation, facesitting, forced feminization, forced chastity, forced orgasm, and pegging) tend to be common within this dynamic.

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However, femdom relationships and scenes can also include non-sexual service activities like pedicures, back massages, foot massages and "chores" like car maintenance.

FemDom is a shortened form of the term Female Dominance. This shortened form has been used since at least 1986 when it described pornography featuring dominant females.

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More About Female Dominance (Femdom)

Incorporating non-sexual activities into the plan can transform a relationship into a female-led relationship, which many people attracted to female dominance enjoy.

It’s a good idea to devise a plan of activities together that you’re both interested in trying. Creating this shared list can be a great way to bond with a partner interested in female dominance. This plan may include sexual activities reinforcing female dominance, such as those mentioned above, along with non-sexual activities like domestic chores the submissive should perform or house rules that they must obey.

While many discussions about femdom relationships will place a male-identifying partner as the submissive, many femdom dynamics include female-identifying submissives. A femdom relationship where both partners identify as female may be known as a "lesdom" relationship.

Although from the outside it may look like the Domme has complete control in the relationship, the submissive in many ways has just as much control as they give or revoke consent.

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Before engaging in any BDSM play, make sure that all players consent to the activities. You should also follow all safety guidelines, including closely monitoring your submissive and establishing a safe word. If you’re engaging in activities where using a safe word is difficult, agree on a safe action that signals the end of play instead.

Some resources that may help with exploring femdom dynamics:

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