What is Cunnilingus? - Definition from Kinkly

Cunnilingus is oral sex performed on a partner with a vulva. During cunnilingus, the giving partner stimulates the receiving partner’s clitoris or vulva with their mouth. Cunnilingus may be part of foreplay, sex or afterplay. A giving partner may use cunnilingus to arouse their partner, bring them to orgasm, or continue their pleasure after they’ve already had an orgasm.

Word Origins and Synonyms for Cunnilingus

Cunnilingus is a very old word dating back to around 1884. It is a combination of the Latin word for vulva, "cunnus," and the word "lingere," meaning “to lick.” It’s unclear where the Latin term cunnus originated, but some language experts believe it may be an evolution of terms for gash, slit, to cut, or sheath. The use of the term cunnilingus grew steadily until the early 1960s, when it became much more widely used.

Today cunnilingus is a relatively formal term. Many people prefer informal terms for cunnilingus in conversation, such as:

Eating pussy
Licking pussy
Eating someone out
Muff diving
Rug munching
Carpet munching
Going down the Y
Yodeling in the valley
Having hair pie
Drinking from the furry cup
Having a box lunch
Pearl diving
Muff diving
Lip-synching
Lickety-split
French lessons
And many more!

The History of Going Down

Virtually all cultures throughout history have practiced cunnilingus. There are ancient cave paintings depicting cunnilingus and Taoist teachings declaring that ingesting vaginal fluids could make the Yang (male) essence stronger. However, it wasn’t always celebrated. The Ancient Greeks thought cunnilingus was only for lesbians or impotent men. Accusing someone of performing cunnilingus was an emasculating slur, as the dominant view was that “real men” used their penises to satisfy their partners. The Greeks and Romans also made jokes about the vulva being dirty. This idea persisted until well into the Middle Ages.

However, attitudes have shifted. Today, cunnilingus is a mainstream form of sexual expression, as anthropologist Treena Orchard explained. "Cunnilingus is more commonly discussed and practiced because women are speaking out more freely about what kinds of pleasure they want. This is connected with the rise in the number of influencers and authors writing about the clitoris and the orgasm gap, including Dr. Laurie Mintz, author of the best-selling book 'Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters- And How To Get It.'"

Celebrities have also contributed to the rise in our social acceptance of cunnilingus. When DJ Khaled said he doesn't perform oral sex on women in 2018, several top male celebs retaliated with videos and social media posts about how much they love going down on women. These men included The Rock, who implied that real men know how to do cunnilingus and love it because it brings pleasure to their female partners.

While cunnilingus feels good, experts say evolutionary factors may also drive this behavior. A 2013 study published in Evolutionary Psychology theorized that people may perform cunnilingus to secure mating privileges and to check the vulva for another partner’s sperm. Other studies suggest that people may perform cunnilingus to confirm their partner is clean and healthy. While cunnilingus doesn’t directly lead to pregnancy, some researchers believe that people have a higher chance of retaining their partner’s sperm and conceiving a child if they have an orgasm through cunnilingus first.

While cunnilingus is practiced in the animal kingdom, it is relatively rare.

Some people with vulvas feel receiving cunnilingus is the easiest way for them to achieve orgasm. This may be because cunnilingus focuses on stimulating the clitoris, which has a high concentration of nerve endings. The stimulation is also gentler than people often receive with fingers, sex toys, or penises. During cunnilingus, the giving partner is also totally focused on the receiving partner, unlike sex activities where the couple gets stimulated together. This focus lets giving partners pay attention to what they’re doing and how their partner reacts to it.

How to Give Cunnilingus

It’s a good idea to work up to oral sex with some kissing and caressing. Once both people feel ready, the receiving partner usually stands, sits, or lies down for cunnilingus. The giving partner positions their head between their partner’s legs and explores their vulva with their mouth. They may use their lips, tongue, or mouth to kiss, lick, or gently suck the receiving partner’s vulva. Sometimes the giving partner inserts their tongue into the vagina to increase the receiver’s sexual arousal. It’s best to start soft and gentle, then build the intensity over time. Being good at cunnilingus requires practice as well as communication with the receiving partner.

How to Receive Cunnilingus

Relaxing can help receiving partners enjoy cunnilingus. People who feel self-conscious during cunnilingus might find deep, slow breathing helps them calm down. Some people like to close their eyes to focus on the sensations in their bodies. Others feel locking eyes with the giving partner is more intimate. Some people like to hold their partner’s hands or touch themselves or their partner.

Sharing feedback with the giving partner can make cunnilingus more satisfying. The receiving partner might praise the receiving partner or instruct them to try techniques they like. Moans and groans of pleasure can also be encouraging.

Is cunnilingus safe?

Cunnilingus is sometimes considered a relatively low-risk sexual activity because there is no risk of pregnancies and a lower risk of passing on sexually transmitted infections (STIs) than other activities. However, there is still a small risk of passing on STIs including chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes and human papillomavirus (HPV).

While people can practice cunnilingus when the receiving partner has their period, this activity carries a higher degree of risk as period blood can transmit some STIs, such as HIV and syphilis. Wearing a dental dam can reduce the giving partner’s risk of contracting and transmitting an STI during cunnilingus. Saran Wrap can also do the trick. For those who enjoy cunnilingus often, Lorals latex underwear, which is FDA approved as a option for STI protection, is a practical option.

People can further reduce their risks by getting tested for STIs regularly and discussing their status with their partners.

How to Get Better at Cunnilingus

Communication is an important part of good cunnilingus. If the receiver shares the techniques that help them achieve an orgasm, cunnilingus is usually more pleasurable for both parties. The giving partner may also ask if a particular spot or pressure feels good to their partner.

Nonverbal cues can also help giving partners assess their partner’s pleasure. If the receiving partner moves closer during cunnilingus, they are probably enjoying themselves. If they’re withdrawing or clenching their legs, the giving partner may change their technique or lower the intensity.

Good genital hygiene also enhances cunnilingus. Some people worry about an odor from their genitals, but natural smells (and tastes) are normal and arousing to sexual partners. Showering regularly and cleaning the genitals can help receiving partners feel more confident and relaxed. Products like douches are best avoided because they can disrupt the genitals’ natural bacteria. This may lead to discomfort or infection.