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Free Use

Updated: FEBRUARY 4, 2024
Reviewed by Dr. Laura McGuire
on January 10, 2024

Free use is a sexual arrangement where consenting adults agree to be sexually used. It can also be considered a kink. This arrangement can exist to varying degrees and with different dynamics, depending on the boundaries and interests of the people involved. It may also be part of a BDSM dynamic or a vanilla one, and practiced by people of any gender and sexuality.


What does free use look like?

People can dabble in free use or make it a major part of their lifestyle. In a mild free use arrangement, someone might use their partner while they are at in the privacy of their home in a limited number of ways, such as vaginal sex and blowjobs. This arrangement is likely to be monogamous and not impact the couple’s ability to work or socialize. In a more extreme example, someone may make themselves totally available for free use. They may accept many different lovers who can do whatever they want with them any time of the day or night.

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Some arrangements have one person who gets used by one or more partners. In other arrangements, people may decide to use and be used, depending on their own needs and the needs of their intimate partners.

People who are used through a free use relationship are often passive participants, used as sexual objects rather than equal partners. This may also be considered to be 'performative passivity'. They may even choose to continue performing daily tasks, such as cooking or sleeping, while they’re being used. At the same time, drugging someone, especially while sleeping, is not only consensual, but may constitute rape, even with blanket consent.


Why People Are Into Free Use

Many people like free use because it can satisfy a basic need for sexual gratification without spending time on preliminaries like conversation, romance or foreplay. People who enjoy getting used through free use may enjoy taking a submissive role in sex. Giving up a degree of control through this kind of arrangement can be liberating and deepen a connection with a dominant partner.

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Free use can also be an appealing prospect in the modern world, where people feel time-poor and often too exhausted to negotiate for sex. Free use gives people easy access to sexual gratification at the times that suit them.


Where We See Free Use

Free use has a large presence online. The r/freeuse subreddit has 1.5 million members at the time of writing and there are several online communities made up of people who have a kink or fetish for free use. While people have fantasized about removing barriers to sex for centuries, these communities are some of the first to discuss the topic. TikToks about free use have also gone viral, garnering several million views. These online outlets and the conversations they contain have helped raise awareness about free use and normalize the kink.

The internet has also helped spread free use porn, which aims to appeal to people with free use kinks and fetishes. Free use porn is available on established porn sites and through the OnlyFans accounts of members of the free use community.

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More About Free Use


What is the difference between a free use kink and fetish?

As free use isn’t a typical sexual arrangement, anyone who practices free use or is interested in trying it may have a free use kink. This simply means their interest is outside societal norms. People with a more intense interest in free use may have a free use fetish. While people with a free use kink prefer this type of sexual arrangement, people with a free use fetish may feel they need this arrangement for sexual fulfillment. They are also likely to feel most satisfied when they are sexually using someone, or they're being used.


What is free use porn?

As interest in free use grows, adult film companies have begun creating porn with free use themes. These videos show people using others sexually, mimicking real free use relationships. Some videos feature couples while others show group free use sex. Often other characters observe the free use sex, shocked yet aroused by the scene they see unfolding. There are also free use porn videos showing power dynamics, such as videos with couples hiring a free use maid and young people in free use relationships with their step-siblings or step-parents.

In contrast to many popular porn genres, the people used in free use porn typically seem disinterested in the sex. They often do other things, such as playing video games or texting, while someone has sex with them. When so much pornography features enthusiastic actors who climax with loud orgasms, free use porn provides a point of difference.

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How to Play With a Free Use Kink

Playing with a free use kink can help people bring their fantasies of easy access to sex to life. Discussing these fantasies allows people considering a free use arrangement to share the activities they’re interested in and the role they’ll take. Groping a person as they pass is a simple way to start playing with free use. Free use could then escalate to a blowjob as someone is waking up or rear-entry sex while someone cooks dinner. It’s best to start slow before trying more intense sexual activities to ensure all parties are comfortable with the arrangement. Lubricant can also make free use sex, which typically skips foreplay, more enjoyable and pain-free.


While free use arrangements offer easy access to sexual gratification, consent is essential to ensure everyone's comfort and safety. Limits are not uncommon in free use relationships. These might define when sex is available and the kind of sexual activities the used person agrees to.

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Kink therapist Dr. Elyssa Helfer, advises that “Free use has to be pre-negotiated AND include room for ongoing negotiation. As always, consent is a fundamental aspect of kink play and must exist in ALL kink interactions. While for some, the appeal may be to give blanket consent for the foreseeable future, if folks want to ensure that they are minimizing risk and remaining mindful, conversations around consent need to happen at some regular level of frequency. Free-use dynamics should be thought out, planned for, and decided upon when trust has been established within a dynamic . When approached intentionally, it can be an incredibly exciting way to enhance spontaneity and connection within a dynamic.”


Free Use Safety Considerations

As people in free use arrangements give blanket consent, it’s important to choose partners who will respect the limits of the person they’re using sexually. A relationship that’s based on trust and ongoing communication can ensure no one feels like they’re being taken advantage of or abused.

People in free use arrangements should discuss their sexual health status and whether they will use condoms. Using condoms can minimize the risk of passing on sexually transmitted diseases during free use activities. If both parties agree to have sex without condoms, being fluid-bonded or getting regular sexual health checks can reduce the risks. They may also want to use barrier-free contraceptives to minimize the risk of unwanted pregnancies.

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“Engaging in sexual activity at random means that there are possibilities that the body is not necessarily prepared for sexual engagement,” added Dr. Helfer. “For vulva owners, this may look like a lack of vaginal lubrication, which means that in order to mitigate possible injury, lube must be utilized. When using toys, hands, or other objects, it is vital to be mindful of possible physical harm that can be caused. Fingernails being too sharp, toys not being properly cleaned, or using any insertable object without lube increases the chances of an injury occurring.

“In addition to remaining cognizant of the physical safety concerns, it is important to also be mindful of emotional activation that can occur during a sexual encounter. While many of us like to think that we can predict how we would respond in a particular situation, there are times when our bodies and our brains are on a different page. That said, being emotionally activated during a sexual scene is a possibility that should not only be discussed beforehand but should be prepared for. Creating a safety plan that can be implemented if someone gets activated can be the difference between settling down and regulating or having a panic attack. These plans may never come into play, but having them in place can allow for a further sense of safety and security.”

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