Updated: DECEMBER 3, 2019
A telemour is the partner of your partner’s partner. In simpler terms, it is the partner of a metamour. For example, your husband’s boyfriend’s girlfriend could be called your telemour. The term is a blending of the Greek prefix “tele,” meaning far,” and “amour,” meaning love.
The term telemour is commonly used within the polyamorous community, where people have more than one relationship or partner simultaneously.
Meta-metamour, or meta-meta for short, may also be used interchangeably with telemour.
More About Telemour
The term telemour allows polyamorous people to more succinctly explain their connection to others within their poly network. It may also indicate a greater closeness than the partner of your partner’s partner, or even your metamour’s partner. These longer descriptions create a kind of distance by suggesting several degrees of separation that may not exist in the actual relationship between telemours.
While the term telemour naturally removes some separation, telemours may be very close or quite distant, depending on how their poly network, sometimes called a polycule, operates. Some people may become close friends with their telemour, particularly if they regularly attend social gatherings with people within their polycule. They may rely on one another for friendship and emotional support, especially if there is tension within their polycule. Others may prefer to keep their relationships separate, and thus rarely see their telemours, if at all.
While telemour is a concise term, there is a danger that people will not understand it. Many people within the polyamory community are not aware of it, and it is even less understood in the wider community. Because of this, many people in the polyamory community prefer using more general terms like “friend,” especially if they are talking to people outside their poly network.