Primal Fetish

On a base level, primal play is a way to exhibit raw emotion and desire outside of the social constraints we live with every day. We generally aren’t allowed to just “take” what we want, and physically fighting for it is also off-limits. In primal sex play, however, those participating are fully aware and engaged in the idea of devolving back to their basic instincts of desire. Primals give themselves over to a sort of devolution during their scenes, where rules and social niceties are discarded.

According to psychotherapist and writer, Robert H. Hopcke, primal behavior has historically been used as a weapon against machismo culture and patriarchal power. Tuning into one’s primal connection has supported the reclamation of masculinity in leather communities. “In S/M and the powerful initiation into archetypal masculinity that it represents, gay men have found a way to reclaim their primal connection to the rawness and power of the Masculine, to give a patriarchal, heterosexist society a stinging slap in the face by calling upon the masculine power of men’s connection to men to break the boxes of immaturity and effeminacy into which we as gay men have been put," he writes.

For some, the appeal of primal sex play and becoming a primal goes beyond uninhibited sexual play. It can also be a cathartic escape from the roles and responsibilities we deal with as part of society. The opportunity to shake these weights off and to connect with a more natural version of themselves is part of the appeal for many primals.

“Someone I used to see identifies as a primal," Mistress Mona, a Dominatrix based in Philadelphia, said. "He would always describe it as this animalistic part of him being able to be released. During sex, there was a lot of growling and grunting; he was also really into rough body play.”

How to Engage in Safer Primal Play

Primal play can allow people to take off their civilian masks and only listen to their senses, which can bring out their primal instinct. Primal play can look like sniffing for another partner, it might include a chase to submission, or consensually tasting and biting a partner in a sexual way. No matter what shape it takes for a particular couple, it's important to discuss boundaries before engaging in primal play. This could look like a kink contract, or a verbal discussion. Because being primal includes fighting and animalistic tendencies, it's important that the dominant and submissive are communicative with one another to ensure comfort with the situation. This includes setting up safewords and/or safe signals before play begins to ensure everyone's safety. As long as there is a high level of trust between the two partners, primal play can be a very intimate and explosive BDSM and sex practice.

After primal play (and all sexual scenarios!), check in on yourself and those involved. Is there anything you or somebody else needs at the moment to feel safe? Having a discussion about how the established boundaries were upheld or unintentionally crossed during primal play is a great first step in aftercare.

In a practical sense, primals should also set up a space to enjoy this time of play. Clear an area of large objects that people could hurt themselves on. Prepare the ground with tumbling or wrestling mats. While bruises and scratches may be a badge of primal honor when acquired during the hunt, serious injury can occur if precautions aren’t taken.