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A player is a person who actively participates in BDSM activities. Fans of rope bondage, sadists, masochists, and people who simply enjoy kinky sex may all consider themselves players. Players are the participants in BDSM scenes, just as the players in the theater play in scenes.
A player is sometimes called a practitioner.
An alternative meaning to the term is someone who keeps lot of other people interested in them for relationships, but is not committed to just one person.
A player may be dominant or submissive, a novice player, an experienced player, or somewhere in between. Players can also be of any gender or sexual orientation.
While pain may be an element of a BDSM scene, players are conscious of their personal safety and those of other players. They should also be considerate of the other players’ limitations and feelings. A good player is aware of their partner’s or partners’ desires and reactions to the way scenes progress.
Some people draw a distinction between the terms player and lifestyler. This distinction argues that players are people who simply enjoy BDSM play and activities, typically in the privacy of their bedroom or a dungeon. Meanwhile, lifestylers live and identify as BDSM whether they’re engaged in BDSM activities or not. It’s implied that lifestylers have a stronger connection to BDSM, as BDSM plays a part in all aspects of their lives, not just their sexual activities. However, it should be noted that BDSM players may be just as proficient in BDSM practices and just as knowledgeable about the community.
If you're just tipping your toe into the world of BDSM, you may be unsure where to even start when it comes to planning out a scene.
We made this quiz to provide you with your next, or first, BDSM scene based on your own tastes and desires!