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JoEllen Notte

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JoEllen is a writer, speaker, researcher and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken on her award-winning site The Redhead Bedhead. JoEllen has led workshops nationwide on sexual communication, navigating consent, having casual sex kindly, and dating as an introvert. She has toured sex shops, spoken at length on dildos, and even started a sex school but she is happiest and most effective when writing and speaking on behalf of quiet people who have sex. Check out her video series on attending conferences as an introvert and her extensive writing on sex and depression. JoEllen has spoken at Clark College, University of Chicago, Woodhull's Sexual Freedom Summit, and the Playground Conference


JoEllen is currently writing her first book: “The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression & The Conversation We Aren’t Having”

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ARTICLES BY JOELLEN NOTTE

We map out some hot sex positions and recommend the top sex toys to pair with them. Enjoy!

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Masturbation is not just an alone-time activity. Self-love with a partner is fun, hot and a great learning experience for both of you.

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If you’ve got a butt, adding a plug to your routine can be a fun way to add a little spice, take things to the next level, and explore a whole new world of sensation. Here are some tips on how to do that.

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Summer might make us feel universally sexy, but some of us just aren't outdoorsy types. Don't worry: You don't have to feel left out. Check out three of the hottest outdoor summer pleasures - and how to recreate them indoors.

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How can we feel sexy when we're feeling down about our bodies? Here are some tips to try.

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The holidays typically brings a bevy of articles exploring whether it's OK to have sex when you're a guest in other people's homes. This isn't one of them. Get tips from a sex educator on how to be a sex positive hostess with the mostest.

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Do something sexy this weekend! Seriously. It's way better than hanging around Target. Here are a few fun ideas.

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Polyamory and open relationships can be tricky waters to navigate - here are some questions to ask yourself before you enter the world of nonmonogamy.

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Banish mediocre sex! These six positions will help you approach oral from a new - and exciting - angle.

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Pleasure is for everybody and EVERY body. Ergonomic sex toy design helps ensure that more people can enjoy themselves.

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Learn how to keep your hook up adventures ethical, drama free, and fun. Check out our must read article on casual sex!

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Take your toy along for the ride - and avoid everything from embarrassment to being stranded vibrator-less abroad.

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These songs run the gamut from subtly suggestive to downright dirty, so get ready to deck those halls, trim those trees, and get joyful and triumphant.

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This cute G-spot vibe offers power and performance at a lower price point. Check out the full review here.

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Do you feel trapped in an unhealthy relationship? Follow these five steps and regain your independence.

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Want to capitalize on all the Black Friday deals and sales on sex toys? Here are tips to help you get something you'll love.

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Talking dirty can make sex hotter and better than ever. Here's how to do it right.

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Here are 6 things you can use to make hotel room sex super hot!

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When you remove the stress about performing and focus on having fun exploring with your partner, you create a recipe for awesome sex. Find out how to do it.

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Have you ever heard of the perineal sponge? If not, you've come to the right place. Find out what you may be missing.

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An increasing number of high-end sex toys are promising a spa-like experience for your genitals. So, how can you tell which ones are worth the price tag?

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When we let go of arbitrary definitions, we are left to do some of the defining for ourselves. That means you need to figure out what feels 'real' (and right) for you.

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Antidepressants may elevate your general wellbeing, but they can wreak havoc on your libido. Here's a few side effects that you may encounter.

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Masturbation is so much better - and so much more - than we're ever told it is. Find out why it's the greatest.

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Female condoms have gotten a bum rap for years. But take it from me: This prophylaxis is way underrated. Here's why I love them.

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Looking for a good, old-fashioned, super-intense boning? It's time to go deep! Here are a few top positions to try.

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What's it called when your partner's sexual freedom makes you happy, rather than green with jealousy? Let us introduce you to something called compersion.

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50 Shades changed the game of sex. Here's why it is a bad idea to continue to bash the series.

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Things that were once considered kinky and perverse are starting to be accepted as what they are - fun options for exploring our sexuality. Here's a looking into getting a buzz with electro-sex.

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79 million Americans are infected with HPV this very minute. Surprised? Here are some other things you may not know.

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From lube to condoms to the importance of pronouns - one sex educator shares 19 tips and tricks for a happier, healthier sex life.

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A woman spends an estimated 3,500 days of her life menstruating. Do you really want to put your sex life on hold for all that time?

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Just like any other sex act, masturbation is not everyone's cup of tea. Here's why pushing self-pleasure too hard may not be sex-positive.

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A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in May concluded that BDSM practitioners may be 'more psychologically healthy' than their vanilla counterparts. Find out what it did for the author's relationships - both in and out of the bedroom.

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There's so much selection in this aisle of your local sex shop that it can hard to know what to choose. Here's how to find the right fit.

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This safer sex tips will help you play safe - without spoiling the fun.

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When your partner doesn't want to have sex, it's easy to feel rejected. Here's how to understand the problem - and what to do about it.

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Meeting a partner's sex toy for the first time can be intimidating. Here's how to make the experience exciting, fun and super sexy - for both of you!

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Think hand jobs are just for teenagers? Think again. These techniques will show you just how yummy manual sex can be.

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It's true! Many women really do like casual sex...and Kinkly has the science to back it up!

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Is the G-spot a thing or not? Kinkly.com untangles the knotted confusion of whether or not the G-spot exists.

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Are you having great sex? Check out our lascivious list to signs that you are having great sex!

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All abuse is despicable, but emotional abuse can be the hardest to identify or detect. Here are some key characteristics of an abusive relationship.

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Redhead Bedhead gives a sneak-peek of LELO's latest toy, DEXTRUS.

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Yes, you can get good, high-quality, body-safe sex toys on a budget. Here are some of the Redhead Bedhead's top budget-friendly picks.

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That said, the Fun Factory Stronic Drei is my favorite new toy of the year. I suspect it will end up under the trees of many folks who are on the 'nice' list .

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From better access to birth control to better, safer sex play, here are few things that are worth being thankful for.

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Think that $20 vibrator will do you just fine? Here's what you might be missing.

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If you've done any traveling, you know that the items carried in stores differ everywhere you go. Sex toys are no different. Learn about the things people buy in different parts of the country - and why.

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Do you know what's in your sex toys? Here's a list of the best, safest sex toy materials on the market - and the ones you need to avoid.

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Emergency contraception often gets a bad rap, but a lot of it stems from misinformation. Get the facts here.

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QUESTIONS BY JOELLEN NOTTE

First things first: As surely as you can state that you are a normal man with a normal anatomy, I want you to remember that your partner is...

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If you've never encountered a penis with a foreskin, putting a condom on one can seem a bit intimidating. While it's true the process...

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What a fun question! First off, the fact that you have already been engaging in nipple play means that you have a head start on knowing...

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First off, I'm so sorry you're in pain! I have had multiple spinal surgeries myself, and I know how debilitating that kind of pain can be....

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The super-fun thing about fetishes that involve everyday items is that your play doesn't have to be limited to the bedroom; you can take it...

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Hello! I love that you asked this question - I feel like this is something a lot of people wonder about. So, first thing's first: The...

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Want to use a strapless double dildo for double penetration? Here are some tips on how to choose a harness.

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What a fun question! There are several ways for you to play with your husband in public and what you choose will depend on what he enjoys....

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While the urge or desire to swallow one's own semen may not be something you see in the media or hear much about, it is not wrong, abnormal...

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This is a great question! Given that the toy is silicone, you are in luck because that means it's not just washable, it can actually be...

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First off, I want to assure you that you don't have to do anything if you are not 100% comfortable with it. Dirty talk isn't everyone's bag...

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First of all, take it easy on yourself. As much as it may not feel sexy, farting is a thing that happens. Also, we sometimes forget that...

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Yes, it could. There are medications prescribed for depression that have been shown to raise libido in some patients. If you are finding...

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Depression can have a huge impact on sexual function. Many people dealing with depression lose interest in sex either due to the symptoms...

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