Very popular in female domination circles, Clothed Female, Naked Male (CFNM, for short) is exactly how it sounds: a kink for a clothed woman while a nearby male is entirely naked. While the kink is often used as part of a power exchange dynamic (where one person is in charge while the other accepts orders), CFNM can also be used outside of power exchange dynamics as well.
Clothed Female, Naked Male (CFNM) 101
People of any gender identities or gender presentations can participate in CFNM.
All that CFNM requires is two people in two various states of dress. However, for the sake of simplicity and the name of the kink, the words "woman" and "man" have been used within this article. A less popular version, CMNF (Clothed Male, Naked Female), is also considered a kinky fetish. However, possibly because of societal expectations or the popularity of the “naked and willing female submissive” trope, “Clothed Male, Naked Female” isn't often mentioned by specific name.
Why Do People Enjoy It?
Even the most unkinky person can agree: there's something inherently vulnerable about being naked in front of another human. In CFNM, kinksters just exploit this inherent vulnerability for their own fun. Being naked and vulnerable, while another person is fully clothed and in charge, only reinforces the power exchange dynamic of someone else being in charge.
The plain simplicity of this kink feeds into people's love for it as well. The kink is so simple that many people into it can exactly pinpoint the time where they fell in love with it. Maybe it was their first girlfriend, who was too nervous to ever undress, so all of their sex was with him being the sole naked person. Maybe it was her first husband, who slept naked, but was so turned on for sex that he never bothered to take the time for her to get naked before the two of them had sex. Most people into CFNM can pinpoint the exact reason why they think they're into it.
In addition to being vulnerable, a lot of male submissives report that the kink feels extremely sexual. In most cases where a woman is asking them to strip naked, sexual activities or kinky acts are in the near future. Just the stripping down in itself can become a Pavlovian response to future sexual activity – and can become a kink in itself.
Read: Power Play: How to Use Power to Make Even Mundane Things Super Sexy
Is This Possibly the Easiest Kink Out There?
Well, I'm sure there are other "simple" kinks out there, but Clothed Female, Naked Male definitely ranks as one of the easiest kinks to perform - and that's part of the appeal! This doesn't require any specific toys or any specific furniture. You can do it at home, and you can do it without spending hours planning a scene. It requires absolutely no special purchases.
That being said, a lot of couples like to work CFNM into an already-amazing scene plan. CFNM on its own can be great (and some people love it as the sole focus!), but it's usually used as another tool in the "femdomme toolbox" to help enforce power exchange dynamics during a scene where the focus may be on something else - like a foot massage or a spanking.
Read: Making a Scene: How to Create the Hottest BDSM Encounters
How Do I Try This at Home?
Well, I'm sure you've figured out the basics by now. The acting female of the dynamic is fully clothed - in whatever clothing works for your dynamic. The acting male of your dynamic will be entirely naked. This is pretty much the basic set-up for any CFNM scene you choose to explore.
Now, how you spice it up from here is up to you. Using only clothing, you can change the dynamic even further. Will the woman be wearing a powerful business outfit - further adding to the power exchange? Will the dominatrix be wearing elaborate lingerie - as a further sexual tease in a situation where the bottom is unable to hide his excitement? Will the female dominant be wearing her comfortable, everyday clothes to further nail in the point that she doesn't think he's worth dressing up for in a humiliation scene?
You can mess around with the bottom's "outfit" too. Sure, naked is the basic expectation of CFNM, but even CFNM kink parties allow more than just basic nudity! Are you into chastity? A chastity cage can further enforce the dynamic you're trying to achieve.
You might even consider a pair of feminine panties - maybe even the dominant's panties. For the more shy kinksters among us, if full nudity isn't an option, the same mindset and dynamic can be achieved with the bottom clad in only a pair of his own underwear - while the top is fully clothed.
What if we explore outside of the clothing though? Don't forget that CFNM is usually used as a fun "part" of a scene - not necessarily the scene itself. This kink can be mixed with any other kink you want to do at the moment - pegging, foot worship, rope bondage, edging, tea service, cigar service, teasing and denial, and anything other kink you had in mind.
Just plan the clothing accordingly, and you could even turn your regular Wednesday movie night into a light mixture of foreplay with CFNM involved!
Read: 3 Scenes for a Beginner Femdom to Try
Do You Have any Specific Scenes I Could Try?
Well, since you asked so nicely, I suppose I could help. I understand the nervousness about trying a new kink. Not only do you have to figure out the kink itself, but you have to plan an entire scene around it. Having your "gameplan" ahead of time for the first few times is a genuinely easy way to help dip your toes into the shallow end.
So consider these simple scenes to try CFNM – then take what you've learned and start to add CFNM to other creative ideas you may have:
CNFM and Teasing
One of the easiest ways to explore with CFNM is to tie it right into your sexual activities. With the dominant partner wearing what she'd like to wear for this scene, she'll push the submissive type into the bedroom. Once he's there, she'll command him to stand at attention while she sits on the bed. Watching him, she'll command him to take off each piece of clothing, one by one, as she comments on him and his naked body.
Once he's naked, the submissive partner can lie back on the bed - where the dominant partner will take advantage of his nudity to tease him. From this point, the dominant can do as she'd like - whether that be oral sex, sitting on his thighs and using her hands to tease him, keeping him at the edge or orgasm, or just choosing to have fully-clothed sex.
Read: Making a Scene: How to Create the Hottest BDSM Encounters
CFNM and Foot Worship
If the submissive partner likes feet or just likes providing service, this might be a great scene to try. The dominant partner wears whatever she feels like wearing for this scene. She then will lounge on a chair or couch. Once there, she requires the submissive partner to stand up and gather any necessary supplies for the foot worship (lotion, toenail polish, etc.) and lay them at her feet.
Once all of the items are in place, she commands the submissive partner to strip naked and kneel at her feet - then tells him that he'll be providing her a foot rub and service until she decides she's tired of it. Naked, the submissive partner will do as requested. The service can continue until she decides she's done with it. At that point, she can call him onto the couch for cuddles and a job well done, or she can choose to take advantage of his naked state (and her relaxed state!) for some rewarding sex.
Are There Gatherings for a Kink Like This?
Depending on where you live, the answer is a resounding "yes"! Some highly populated areas have CFNM parties. Before attending such a party, you'll want to read the specific rules for that specific party.
In general, dominant women are required to wear clothing of some sort while submissive, male-presenting people are required to be naked or in underwear. Chastity cages or feminine panties may be allowed depending on the party. The specific activities at a CFNM party may vary: it might be a general play party aside from the clothing restrictions or it might be a service-oriented party, where submissive types are expected to offer non-sexual service to dominant types. Reading the description will help you decide if that particular CFNM party is for you.
If your area isn't large enough to have specific CFNM parties, you might consider looking around for femdomme-oriented parties. While they won't have the specific dynamic you're looking for from everyone who is attending, you'll likely be welcome to be dressed to your own comfort levels - and many dominant women will be clothed.
If you're unsure if your CFNM kink would be welcome at a general femdomme party, always feel free to ask the host. In most cases, as long as you aren't bothering or forcing your kink onto anyone else, you'll be allowed to dress to your own comfort level - which might just be naked!
Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.