This week’s Sex Stories We Love finds us talking about sex. Surprise, surprise! But it really is about talking about sex, with various people and their many experiences. Sex is a thing that can consume, entertain, enthrall, or scare us any time of the day. Talking about the possibilities, however curious they may be, is crucial.

Boo-ty Call?

This week’s biggest story in the world of sex actually comes from another realm. Or realms. Or worlds. Or planes. Or somewhere we can’t possibly know because we have no clear-cut proof of where ghosts come from. Yes, ghosts. As the earthly world of sex expands, it now includes more reports of human sexual liaisons with members of the afterlife. It isn’t as if this is a new thing. Oh no, people have reported instances of otherworldly sexual dalliances throughout history. Now, even most paranormal believers will wave off the likelihood of ghost sex as the result of trauma or even just sleep issues, but not all Casper coitus can be waved off. What do you think? Do you believe in ghosts ... and if you do, would being haunted make you horny?

Now You've Laid Me Down to Sleep

Now, this might be bad timing (or the best), but a study suggests that we get better sleep after sex that includes an orgasm for everybody involved. Maybe not if you’re worried about sexy ghost friends apparating and waking you, but that’s another story. This recent research points the finger at the usual suspect of human happiness: oxytocin. Yes, it is great that sex is being studied as a causal link between different behaviors and patterns, but some more reportage on why both (or all, I presume) partners need to orgasm isn’t really clear. The old joke of a dude rolling over and falling asleep is both sad and, it seems, applies here. Sleep is, generally, an individual thing, no? Or can mutual orgasms fill the room with good sleep hormones?

Twin Speaks?

As evidenced above, sex research remains a strange and curious endeavor. An absolutely necessary and valuable thing, but one that is still deeply steeped in controversy and old thinking. A recent study was launched to discover why two individuals who happen to be twins may grow to have “discordant sexual orientations.” Now, this seems like it could be worthwhile, but this particular research relies heavily on gender assumptions - stereotypes that have long been associated with sexuality but may, ultimately, be limiting and damaging. Regardless a person’s sexuality, how they interact with society’s notions of “male” and “female” can be completely separate from their personality. Just because a female child plays in the dirt and enjoys soccer doesn’t mean she’s going to be attracted to women in adulthood. There are countless versions of these assumptions that should probably be put to bed.

First Date Fun

Another societal assumption we still wrestle with when it comes to sex is the idea that having sex on the first date is somehow a bad thing. How and when it became so taboo to enjoy naked relations with someone upon your first meeting is a mystery. However, it has spawned generations of people thinking things like “I’ll wait until I know they like me” and “It will be right after X number of dates.” All of that is bullshit. How will waiting a couple weeks somehow make that person better? Will they drop all of their bad habits? Will you? Yes, it is great to think of sex as a special connection if that’s what you like. If taking time to learn about a person before being intimate with them helps you, rock on. However, if pursuing physical pleasure work for you, then we need to do away with the negative connotations around it. Sex is what you make it - whenever you want to make it.

Experience Speaks

When it comes to learning about sex, whether you’re trying to sort out twin differences or ghost sex, it is always good to speak with people who have a hearty variety of sexual experience. Certainly science dictates that there should inclusions from all across the spectrum of subjects. So, if you’re talking about sexual habits, desires, motivation, or anything else, you need to speak with people for whom sex is a big part of their lives. All too often, folks who might be deemed sluts (a positive word in these parts) are written off as aberrant and their contributions are ignored. But you know what? I’d take the thoughts of people who are having lots of sex right up there with the researchers and scientists.

Ho Ho OH OH!

Finally, some holidays are coming. They’re a big deal for some folks. Yet the festive season can definitely get in the way of sexytimes. Here are some tips to make it through.