Ahhhh, dating. That time-honoured tradition of puttin' on a brand new shirt, shining up those old brown shoes in the hopes of finding sex, a relationship, or possibly both. This week's Sex Stories We Love looks at the constantly changing world of dating.
Language of Dating
Our dating lexicon grows by leaps and bounds every year. Long gone are the days when we simply broke up with people or hooked up. Instead, every variant of dating challenge is now ripe for a new instance of jargon. And 2020 is apparently not going to be any different. As the months crawl by and our colossal challenges in connecting with people are further scrutinized, expect to hear more terms like white clawing, fleabagging, dial-toning, and caspering. Whether any of these have legs and last into 2021 is anyone's guess, but there is something profound about the ideas behind them. We need more compassion and empathy in our dating lives. It is a tough go out there, but we can be better to each other to avoid making up silly terms.
Fuck You, Clippy!
Okay, I do refer to dating jargon as silly, but I can't help smiling at the thought of paperclipping just because I lived through the disaster that was Clippy and how painfully annoying that thing was. I do not, however,laugh at the idea of paperclipping. It sounds like a real dick move. If you can't establish a friendship with someone you dated, there's no real point in popping in unannounced for some sort of validation. If you genuinely want to rekindle something, or possibly just re-establish a friendship, be prepared to possibly receive a cold response!
Try Being Honest
Okay, folks, if you're going to be in the online dating game, you really need to be honest. Sure, it can be very tempting to lie in an online environment to make yourself more attractive, but in the long run, you're really setting up any potential connection up for disappointment. Frankly, I wasn't surprised to learn that people lie on their online dating profiles...but 53%? I mean, what are you guys going to do with that? It seems that job and income are the most lied about. If you do end up in a relationship with someone you meet online, they're certainly going to notice you leaving the house in a McDonald's uniform instead of a pilot's uniform.
Speaking of being honest, when you're meeting new people with the hope of starting a relationship, it can be really challenging to share your personal details...particularly the details of your sexual history. There are many different things about yourself that you might not want to disclose right away. However, it is important, at some point, to be as open as possible. Whether it be the fact you are celibate, your STI status, or a number of other personal details, being open and talking to your partner is an important step in relationship building.
Dating in Later Life
Dating has certainly changed over the years, and for folks who are re-entering the dating world in later life, this new world can be confusing. As we've seen, even the language changes over time. It can be a daunting task, after a long-term relationship, to learn the new landscape of finding love. Dating apps can be daunting. The bar scene seems to be for younger people. So, where can older folks find love and sex? Do they even want to do that? More older people are single, partly because of more relationships ending, but also because people are living longer. Some folks certainly want a relationship, but others do not. Some folks might want sex. Others, not so much. And some folks might be happy to spend time alone.
Drop These Moves
Finally, let's just do away with some of these online dating moves, mmkay?
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