Like one in four people with vulvas, I have a daily self-love session. One of the easiest ways to connect with yourself is via masturbation. Not only is it healthy and normal to touch yourself, it feels pretty damn good. Women have double the number of nerve endings in their clits as men have in their penises, 8000 compared to 4000, says Jenny Block, author of O Wow: Discovering Your Ultimate Orgasm.
If you don't have a regular hands-on habit, there can be a learning curve. Embrace your curiosities and explore. It’s perfectly normal to engage in all about “me time” as often – or as little – as you’d like.
The most important thing is that you’re taking time to prioritize your pleasure. If masturbation isn't your thing, that's a-OK too. When it comes to pleasure, you should never ever do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable (or unsafe, for that matter).
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If you have a vulva and care to indulge in self-care, here are eight positions to inspire pleasure.
Sit Down
“I masturbate sitting up in a chair!” says Epiphora, sex toy reviewer and blogger at HeyEpiphora.com. “I developed this technique when I was a teenager masturbating to porn on the internet, and it has stuck with me ever since. Even sitting up in bed feels weird to me.”
This seated position goes great with a powerful G-Spot Vibe from Sportsheets.
Looking for more sex position ideas? Check out our Sex Positions Playlist.
The Pillow Fuck
Betty Dodson, the Mother of Masturbation, introduced me to one of my favorite masturbation techniques – the “Pillow Fuck.” This position utilizes the Magic Wand Rechargeable. Here’s how it works:
- Place a pillow on the floor (it doesn't work as well on a non-flat surface, like a bed).
- Spread your legs and straddle it, with the Magic Wand Rechargeable positioned below your clit.
- Now rock your pelvis, playing with contact and pressure until you find your happy place.
Most often, I masturbate on my back with my legs spread wide open, but this on-top-and-in-control position is a solo sex game changer. It allows me to "run the fuck" (one of my favorite Bettyisms) and control the speed, depth, and angle of direct stimulation. For clitoral orgasms, it's one helluva technique.
Go Horizontal
"I prefer to be lying on my back, but sometimes change it up with being on my stomach," says an anonymous source. "I prefer not to be standing or sitting (unless in a cozy, relaxed seated position, as it's distracting to be uncomfortable and using unnecessary muscles when I’m trying to relax and focus on my erogenous zones.
Rub and Ride
For multitasking masturbation, have a penis-having partner lie down on their back. The vulva owner straddles them just below their penis and moves their hand up and down the shaft while positioning their thumb on their clit. Add a dab of lube to make things move even more smoothly.
Tummy Time
Irina likes to lay on her belly, legs crossed at ankle level, both hands on her vulva, (on top of each other forming a V.) “While I rock my pelvis, I cup my hands in a waving motion,” she says.
Legs in the Air
“I’m often embarrassed that I love my legs all the way up,” says J. Trevino. “Keeping them on the ground doesn’t get at where I most love it.” Trevino also doesn’t like anyone hanging on her. “I need wide arm movement and reach. It’s important that I can ‘hit me’ hard inside.”
Ride a Straddle-style Sex Machine
If you want a no-fail, mechanical assist, consider a fully automated sex machine. These are akin to riding a mechanical bull, except with a thrusting phallus and no risk of being bucked. From the penetrative vantage point of this sex toy, I can play with my clit, solo, or maintain contact with a partner pleasuring themselves. Either scenario is super-hot.
Head to Foot
It may seem a little odd at first to lie side-by-side, on your backs, head-to-foot. But if you scooch so that each of you can easily reach the other's genitals by reaching up between their legs, this can be a very relaxing position. (Not to mention, a fantastic perspective of your partner’s party-spot.)
If your hand and forearm get tired after stroking or finger fucking for a while (raises hand), this position allows proper arm support to go the duration. You can always add in a variety of toys in this position (or any of the above positions)!
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If you're just tipping your toe into the world of BDSM, you may be unsure where to even start when it comes to planning out a scene.
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