It's Time! Vote for the Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2016

How do I know when I should use a new condom?

Ken Melvoin-Berg
Profile Picture of Ken Melvoin-Berg

Ken Melvoin-Berg is a Chicago based freelance writer, author, professional pervert, TV producer, BDSM/sex educator, adult industry consultant, and male sex toy advocate. He is also the Consulting Producer/Sharon Osbourne of Showtime’s “Sex with Sunny Megatron.”

Ken is an “edutainer” armed with knowledge of all things sexual, a humorous lecturing style, and a professional background in medicine/biology. He has been writing and lecturing on these subjects since 1997. Ken is known for his amazing facial hair and tattoos. He also loves his family, Aquaman, his amazing pug, Nathan, and the USA.

 Full Bio

I've heard that you aren't supposed to reuse a condom, but what if we're switching between different sex acts? How do I know when I need a new condom?


Condoms are a protective barrier that is either placed over a cock, a penis shaped toy, or in the case of internal condoms (marketed as female condoms), inserted into the vagina. They are supposed to protect us, they do not have to feel good. Of course, being animals of pleasure, we want stuff to feel good, and this can create a conflict with condom use. Unfortunately, penile condoms are often rejected or removed because they cause discomfort to the wearer.

If you are fluid bonded, tested, and in a committed relationship, you can forget the condoms if you want. However, for those of you that are single, poly, in open relationships, or have a friend with benefits please use them for your own safety.

Condoms really have two purposes; one is to prevent pregnancy, and the other is to decrease the rate of transmission of sexually transmitted infections or STIs. Since they are supposed to be a barrier, feeling good is not part of the equation. This makes it difficult for some men with erectile dysfunction or for those that are accustomed to never wearing or using a condom. The feeling is definitely lessened while wearing a condom. However, this can be countered by purchasing extra sensitive condoms that allow more feeling.

Some people also recommend putting a drop or two of water based lube in the condom to feel better for circumcised men that have a problem with friction. While this feels great, according to a study by the National Center for Biotechnology Information, this practice actually doubles the rate of condom slippage during vaginal intercourse.

Using Internal Condoms

The internal condom is a great alternative for vaginal or anal sex. It gives more feeling without the danger of extra slippage. Yet, it is not without its own problems. Apparently, the number one problem with internal condoms used vaginally is accidentally entering underneath the condom and bypassing it altogether. If you are using an internal condom, check to make certain you enter inside the condom. Internal condoms can be adapted for anal sex by removing the inner ring.

Oral Sex and Condoms

Oral sex is the one area many people overlook or ignore when it comes to condom use. There is a definite need for it here if you are not fluid bonded with your partner(s). This means dental dams for vulvas and condoms for penises. This is a lot easier said than done. Should we do it? Yes. Do we do it? Not all the time.

Shared Sex Toys and Condoms

The last reason to use condoms is with shared sex toys. If you have a favorite butt plug, vibrator, or dildo that is made out of something you can’t sterilize, like rubber, plastic, or silicone, put a condom on it if you’re sharing it with a lover.

Pro tip: Use a condom with lube on the inside for a handjob! It feels great even though you’re not using the condom for its intended purpose.

Use condoms if you are not fluid bonded (meaning you can freely exchange fluids without care) to your lover. Condom use can be an obstacle for some but the fun you get while using them is totally worth it! Have fun, stay sex positive, and have great sex!

Have a question? Ask Ken here.

View all questions from Ken.

Connect with us

Kinkly on Pinterest
Kinkly on Pinterest
"Kinkly" on Twitter

Sign up for Kinkly's Free Newsletter!

Get Kinkly in Your Inbox

PARTNERSthat turn us on