How can I talk to my boyfriend about wanting kinkier sex without freaking him out?

Doc Johnson
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Q:

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and sex is getting boring. I want to talk to him about using handcuffs, blindfolds, and other kinky fantasies, but how do I do that without freaking him out?

A:

Well, start off with something a little softer.You can start off with some vanilla mixed in to your BDSM. You could start off with some nice, satin scarves for tie downs or satin handcuffs. There are also kits online that are available for BDSM beginners.

You're right - you do need to first speak with your partner and find out what would make you both comfortable or uncomfortable. You might start out that conversation by saying something like, "I think it would be exciting to feel you, but not see you." It might be exciting for him to feel you but not be able to see you. Blindfolds are easy and simple...and it's something that people can be comfortable with doing. It's about building anticipation.

There are a lot of different aspects in BDSM. So, it's important that you do talk to each other about what you both would like or not like. Also, talk about the dynamic. Who would be the dominant and who would be the submissive? Make sure that you know of anything that might upset him or that you just aren't willing to do.

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