What's the best way to give a handjob?

Q:

What's the best way to give a handjob?

A:

Handjobs should be a basic part of your sexy time portfolio if you play with people that have a cock. It seems simple. Put hand on penis, make penis erect, and rub penis with an up and down motion. Nothing could be further from the truth if you want to give a really great handjob.

For receivers of handjobs: wash your junk, boys. Nobody likes a stinky cock. You can also make a handjob part of the bath time fun. If he gets going, do not let him cum. You will learn some killer priming and finishing moves to help out. Next, shave both the scrotum and the shaft of the penis to get more tactile sensation. Less hair means you can feel more and as an added bonus: it will look bigger!

For givers of handjobs: remove rings and bracelets, wash your hands, trim or touch up your fingernails, moisturize, and most importantly you need to communicate with him to find out what he likes.

Pro tip: The best way to tell what a man likes for a handjob is to watch him masturbate and see what he does to himself.

Next, learn your penis anatomy! You don’t take a road trip unless you have a map.

Anatomy of the Penis

Glans: Head of the penis. It is covered with mucosa in uncircumcised males. It is dry in circumcised males.

Foreskin: A piece of skin that covers the glans in uncircumcised males.

Frenulum: A membrane that connects the foreskin to the penis on the underside of the cock.

Urethral opening: Pee hole.

Corpus Cavernosum: A side by side pair of chambers on the top of the shaft that fills with blood to cause the penis to become erect.

Corpus Spongiosum: Two spongy chambers that fill with blood to support the urethra. It widens and surrounds the urethral opening. This goes from the root of the penis to the glans and is full of pleasure receiving nerve endings.

Scrotum/Testes: The balls.

Perineum: The skin that leads from the anus to the base of the scrotum. The prostate can be massaged externally around 1" away from the anus.

Anus: Butt hole.

Prostate: Small walnut sized gland inside the rectum; it is toward the top if the male is lying on his back. The prostate creates seminal fluid that mixes with sperm from the testes that come down the Vas Deferens (a tube that brings sperm to the urethra).

Once you decide what you’re going to do, know what he likes to do to himself, and what you’re going to try out, then it is time to advance to some foreplay. Make out, massage his thighs and shoulders, watch some porn together, try some dirty talk, touch yourself, and build up the anticipation. Do not use your mouth or any genitals at all. This is all about the hands and what you can do with them.

Start out slow and build to a crescendo. Begin with a slow and steady rhythm and get faster toward end. Maintaining consistency with pressure and pace brings him closer to orgasm. Take strategic breaks and make him wait to build the sexual tension. Dramatic pauses increase the build up of desire. Women tend to think men like it fast, but that isn’t always the case. Make it diverse and change it up. Don’t ignore his nipples, balls, grabbing his thighs, etc. Don’t follow the same script every time. Fool his muscle memory by giving him something new. Also, remember that every man is different and to try new things on each one. We are not snowflakes, but we sure as hell are different from each other.

Pro tip: The wetter, the better!! Use lots of lube...especially silicone lube. The best handjobs are given with spit (because it seems dirtier) or silicone lube if you like slippery.

Priming the Cock

If he is erect on a scale of 1 to 10, and 1 is limp and 10 is orgasm, start these moves at a 5. Get it hard, build arousal, add more lubrication, and try any three of these moves.

1. Choking the Chicken: Firm, steady squeeze around shaft. You can’t really squeeze too hard. Make it it a firm grasp around the base of the shaft. With a tight, slippery grip, slide up the cock with your hand. Use the foreskin, if one is there, to ride up and down the cock in a slippery motion.

2. The Root: Place your hand under the scrotum around the root of the penis. With a firm, slow hand job, take both the shaft and balls by carefully raising the loose skin at the base of the scrotum. Raise the skin and testes up the shaft of the cock until you run out of room, then go back down. Repeat. This jacks off the root of penis. Do not hurt the balls by going up too far. You can also add a pinky finger (from the same hand) tickling at the perineum at the same time for an extra feel good sensation.

3. Zwaffelen: Zwaffelen is a Dutch term meaning to hit one's erect cock against an object or another person's body. This is a great form of sensation play, but remember to use your flesh and not your mouth for this act. Also, make sure whatever you smack it against is soft. This is also called giving someone a Keegan or dick slapping.

4. Cat scratch fever: Play with the balls and scratch the scrotum with the back of the nails starting at the testes and extending down towards the end of the scrotum. Since this is a scratch with the backside of the nails, you can use a lot of pressure.

5. Around the donut hole: External prostate massage rubbing the flesh between the scrotum and the anus with two lubed fingers giving firm pressure that matches the strokes you’re doing on the shaft with the other hand.

Finishing Moves

When he is at an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10 and about to blow a nut, it’s time to start one of these finishing moves until he cums.

1. Polishing the knob: Take the palm of a lubed hand and rub it in circles on the head of the cock. Use a circular, rotating motion that gets faster and faster until he cums.

2. The Twister: Using twisting motion rolling the hands back and forth with lots of lube. Continue rolling the cock like dough between both hands until he reaches orgasm.

3. From Soup to Nuts: Get the dick and balls very wet with silicone lube or spit (most guys don’t prefer water based lube for masturbation). Go from the head of the cock all the way down to the bottom of balls and back up. If circumcised it is critical that lubrication is done from top to bottom.

4. Going Downhill: This is a handjob with two hands alternating stroking down very fast and concentrating the thumbs from the glans and down the frenulum, to the underside of the cock. Concentrate on the bottom side, the corpus spongiosum, the entire time. This one is a secret killer finishing move worthy of mortal combat. You can also do this with a condom filled with lube for a different fun sensation.

5. The tugboat: Tug on the scrotum and balls lightly while pressing the perineum 1" away from the anus with one hand and jacking the shaft with the other hand until he cums.

Pro tip: After he cum,s take the semen and rub it up and down all over his cock while squeezing the cock dry like a tube of tooth paste. This feels amazing and is a fun, nasty way to end things.

Remember to clean up, get a snack, and definitely return the favor! After you've tried a few different options, attempt it in different locations. Around the house, in the car, at any private location where you can have some adult fun. Handjobs are fun, easy, and feel great to the penis owner that you love!

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