How can I keep anal sex from getting messy?

Ducky Doolittle
Profile Picture of Ducky Doolittle Ducky DooLittle is a sex educator from NYC. She is also the author of "Sex with the Lights On: 200 Illuminating Sex Questions Answered". Ducky has appeared in the New York Times, HBO's "Real Sex", "The Morning Show", MTV, NPR, "The Howard Stern Show" and Playboy TV, to name a few.  Full Bio
Q:

I am so curious about anal sex but I am afraid it will be messy and that would be so embarrassing to me. Is there any way to avoid it being messy?

A: Fear of poopage (I made that word up!) during anal sex is a major inhibitor for some people. Let me help you better understand how your butt works by taking you on a trip up your behind.

The first thing we'll encounter are the sphincter muscles, that tight band of muscles that are the exit - and in the case of anal play, the entrance - to your butt. The sphincter is loaded with nerve endings and can therefore be highly sexually responsive. This ring of muscles also contracts with every orgasm you ever have. This is why anal play can be so intriguing.

Beyond the sphincter, there is the rectum. The rectum is a tube that's about 6 to 8 inches in length that connects to the colon. Please note: the rectum is a passageway, not a storage place for poop. There is no poop in your rectum. It is stored up in your colon. It’s not until you have the urge to poop that your poop starts to move into the rectum.

In other words, if you have healthy, solid bowel movements, your partner will not be bumping poo. At most, there may be a little bit of residual poop, but nothing that should ruin your fun.
If you have trouble with your digestion on a particular day or in general, you might not be the best candidate to receive anal sex.(Read about that and other anal sex no-no's in Why You Shouldn't Have Anal Sex.

Some people give themselves a warm water enema before anal sex, so they can feel especially clean. Most people, however, don’t have the foresight or desire to do that. Another tip from my toy box? I buy any anal toys in black just because it makes me feel more confident that if there were any residual poo to speak of, it would be less obvious.

The truth is, you can’t guarantee absolutely no poop during anal sex. If you and your partner want to have butt play, you need to remember that poop passes through the anus and that is a simply fact of life.

Have a question? Ask Ducky here.

View all questions from Ducky.

Connect with us

Kinkly on Pinterest
Kinkly on Pinterest
Tweat cdn.kinkly.com
"Kinkly" on Twitter


'@kinkly'
Sign up for Kinkly's Free Newsletter!

Get Kinkly in Your Inbox

PARTNERSthat turn us on